


Fluffcanon Drabbles

by EnsorcelledReader



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, bad dream, interfering dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 13:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 22,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7053538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnsorcelledReader/pseuds/EnsorcelledReader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little drabbles based on fluffcanon and otp prompts. I don't really discriminate with ships so everything will probably end up here eventually.</p><p>Please note, these are done late at night and are not proofread. The typos shouldn't be too bad, but there will probably be at least a few in each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. DirkJake

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffcanon: All striders have incredibly fluffy and soft hair. The only non lalondes aware of this secret are Jade, Jake, and Karkat.

Jake has Avatar on for the thirtieth time this week, but you’re a bit preoccupied with his fingers in your hair. This is the first he let his hands wonder through the golden strands of your scalp and if it were anyone else you tell them to move their hand before they lose it. He trails his fingers with the perfect amount of pressure though and the tv seems like nothing more than white noise. Your consciousness loses its footing a couple of times, but you cling to lucidity because you don’t know when he’ll get up the courage to do this again. It feels weird to ask him to do it, especially if there isn’t a movie to distract him.

“Your hair’s so soft.” He sounds like he’s smiling, when did you close your eyes? When your heavy eyelids lift you realize that your shades are gone, and he’s smiling at you. “Is it okay if I keep playing with your hair?” He seems shy, it’s cute.

You nod, “Only if I can use your lap as a pillow.” He gives you a charming bucktoothed grin and agrees. As you lay your head on his warm lap, the gentle rubbing of his fingers lulls you into a slumber.

“Dirk?” Jake whispers when the movie ends. His boyfriend completely immobile on his legs, his form more relaxed than Jake had ever seen before. Jake turned to the cable, a marathon of Indiana Jones coaxed him to remain seated, both hands now in his paramour’s hair. It’s surprisingly fluffy and wonderfully silky in his fingers, completely unexpected, given Dirk’s signature do.  The blonde makes soft noises in his sleep, like he’s talking to someone, but just can’t get the words out. Jake smiles, there’s a serene stillness to the world, as if they are in a protective bubble, where no can touch them. The whole world is nothing more than the soft fluff ball that is Dirk’s hair.


	2. Dave/Jade/Bec

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffcanon: When Dave and Jade have a playdate, Bec always tried to get in their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m tired, this didn’t turn out great, but no one actually requested it. So, I don’t feel so bad.

Bro stepped off the small plane, Dave clinging to his neck, afraid to stepdown on his own. A summer full of play dates for his little blonde five-year-old and some bonding of his own with her guardian. The two were greeted by the Harleys Jade practically vibrating with excitement, while her grandfather made finger pistols at them.

Bec was charged as the guardian for the two children while the adults disappeared for a while. The greenhouse was Jade’s favorite place to play, she introduced Dave to all of her green friends, offering him a wide variety of fruit as they went. Their guardian, while the closest anything would ever be to all powerful, was still a dog, and demanded his own place in their play. Often stealing the offered fruit or pushing himself between the two to be part of the conversation.

Jade had managed to convince Dave to have a tea party with her and the squiddles. She served him apple juice tea with peanut butter sandwiches. As Dave reached for one Bec nipped his hand making him cry out in alarm.

“Bec! Bad boy! You’re not supposed to bite people!” She turned to her friend. “Dave, are you okay?”

The slightly shaken blonde fought to retain his stoic façade. “F-fine.” Tears were rolling down his face as he shielded himself with his hands.

“Dave! I’m sorry.” She hugged him close. Bec wanted to be part of this as well, wedging in between the two and lying onto of them. Resulting in a string of giggles from his owner and her friend. “Bec! What are you doing?”

In response Bec licked Dave’s cheek, then his nose, and the corners of his mouth where peanut buter resided.

“I I think he’s trying to say he’s sorry.”

“It’s okay Bec.” Dave attempted to hug the dog, only for Bec to take his shades off his face and abscond the room. “HEY!”

“Bec come back here!”


	3. JohnDave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave starts to fall asleep in bed with John, and so John likes to whisper sweet things in Dave's ear. It prevents his awful nightmares.

The full moon casts a calm light into the room. Dancing beams illuminate the otherwise hopeless void of false shadows and illusionary dangers. Two boys snuggled up on the bed, oversized clothing tangles with limbs and they drown in fabric. Crisp air seeps through the blankets, a ghost of a chill sets into their bones as the hold each other for warmth. Father winter is an asshole, or maybe a saint.

Under the guise of warmth Dave clings to John, the despised villain of unreality threatens to call him out of his world and into the realm of horrors and frights. Thin fingers run through golden tendrils of soft hearted kindness and psychological trauma. A small kiss to add shine to the flaxen hair, stiff muscles relaxed and anxious fingers loosened their grip.

“It will be alright.” Fire met water, too hot, it threatened to burn him, too invasive, searing off the protective stoicism, weak from fatigue. Mixtures of embarrassment, shame, and a little hoped filled the cavity of his chest, his heart beat in his ears, exposed. “I’ll protect you.”

“From what Egbert.” A snort of mock derision, the last frontier of the guarded, wounded human.

“Protect you from what haunts you.” What would he know? He’s made of laughter and baked goods. Dave is made of terrifying images and battle wounds. Someone like John could never understand someone like Dave.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you while you sleep.” Soft arms encircled Dave’s waist. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and everything will be fine. I’ll use my wind powers to enter into your dreams and fend off all that would hurt you.”

“You’d be my dream protector?”

“Damn right, throw cakes your enemies.” Dave stifled a laugh. “Cover your Bro with frosting and silly string, then dump him in a lake and send my cohorts with sticks to hit him until candy falls out. Dave actually snorted at that one. A wide grin across John’s face, and Dave relaxed more in his arms.

“Promise?” A whispered plea that the blonde will deny ever making.

“Promise.”

The too drifted into the land of the fantastic together, demons threatened Dave’s happiness, but John was right there to take care of him. Nothing plagued or interrupted their rest, and Dave awoke with more refreshment than he ever thought possible.

The next night as they lay together once more, Dave confides the evils that haunt him, John holds him close whispering words of encouragement and protection, something that would become a ritual that lasts them the rest of their lives.


	4. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his sleep, Karkat will purr when dreaming of Dave. The Strider has caught him several times doing this and finds it adorable.

Chills set into the empty room on the meteor. Two boys snuggled close together, one sound asleep, the other reading Alice in Wonderland ironically. A heavy warm fuzz covered them, keeping them warm and content for the evening. A pleasant silence, marred only by a light buzz of the lights overhead. Turning them off would be ideal, but that would mean leaving the sweet embrace of drowsy relaxation, a Dave just couldn’t bring himself to. Karkat had no complaints, as he was currently severely unconscious, muttering things like “asshole,” douchebag,” and “fuck ass” in his sleep. Dave would deny any accusation of it, but he giggled whenever a word slipped through his matesprit’s mouth.

The troll was in his own world of fantasy and wonder, no, wait, wrong. Let’s try that again. *ahem* The troll was in his own world, a world of terror and fright. Hunted and defenseless as he lashes out, a bright red shirt, his branding. Scouring for a weapon, any weapon to defend himself. Chanting getting louder, dark shadows climbing the walls, soon they would be upon him, cull him for sure. Tears sprang forth as he panicked desperate for anything to help him stay alive.

Dave heard fast breathing and a terrified whimper. Looking under the sheets he noticed Karkat’s scrunched brow and twitching form. The blonde sighed and looked upon his boyfriend with a soft ache of empathy, another nightmare. He reached out, threading his fingers through the soft hair, using his fingers to massage little collections of tension gathering on his matesprit’s scalp. “It’s okay kitkat, it’s not real.” He whispered, hoping that some small part of Karkat could hear him.

The army was upon him, his ankle now broken from his desperate attempt to flee. Sharp knives shone in the moonlight, a towering figure over him. The helpless troll attempted to shield himself with his arms as the blade came down. An impact that would never come. 

All the figures gone, the moon was brighter than before. In a perfect circle of discarded armor and weapons stood Dave with his broken sword, shades gone. The crimson eyes so vibrant they were nearly as bright as the heavenly body above them. A flash step and a hug. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Karkat felt the tension release within him, purring with contentment. When the hug broke it was dawn, and the world was not as it had been the day before. Now nothing but open greenery filled his gaze. “C’mon.” The blood player looked up, Dave’s shades were back on, and he was holding a picnic basket. “You wanted to see the human beach, right?” The sun now bright and everything smelled of familiarity and safety. The troll smiled and took his human’s hand, the two walked at a leisurely pace down the road, towards their friends.

Dave listened as Karkat began to purr and smiled, crisis averted. Kissing the troll’s forehead, so cute, he went back to his book; only to hear a little whisper “Dave” a moment later.


	5. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Trolls never get sick but for the first year on the meteor the human kids were constantly getting weird alien diseases and sometimes they only survived due to being God Tiers. Karkat would get stuck taking care of Dave who is just the neediest person ever while sick, and he purposely tried to annoy Karkat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the GO timeline.

Karkat was rushing back to Dave’s room, a change of pajamas and some human soup clutched in his claws, per Kanaya’s orders. Rose and Dave had been suffering from some bizarre human illnesses, like “the cold”, or “the flu”, and Dave at one point suffered from something called “salmonella poisoning” because Karkat hadn’t cooked the chicken properly. The troll would never admit it, but he cried when Dave died for a few minutes, god tier powers the only thing to save him. He was determined not to let it happen again. He may not be exceptionally fond of Dave, but he didn’t want to see that asshat die again, he couldn’t take it.

Entering the room, moist air from the humid-whatsit, a mound of blankets onto of Dave’s pale body. The boy was breathing through his mouth, coughing every couple of seconds, like he was suddenly allergic to the air. Karkat cleared his throat, announcing his presence, setting the soup on the side table he prodded the blonde, “Alright Stridouche, Kanaya said I should change your clothes.”

The blonde turned his head, shades gone, eyes glassy and unfocused. “Wha?” Another coughing fit. The sight unnerved the troll enough to take out the body heat measure and place it in Dave’s ear, what was it that humans were supposed to measure at? 98-something?

_104_

Shit, the blood player scrambled for the medicine Kanaya gave him, reaching for the bedside water he lifted Dave’s head, placing the medication in his mouth and gently tipped the cup so the blonde could drink. Only a couple of swallows where allowed before the water was pushed away and another round of coughing began. “You should try and eat something.” Karkat grumbled.

Dave shook his head. “Please no.” He sounded weak and helpless, Karkat didn’t push it. Maybe something cold would be better, maybe one of those frozen fruit waste sticks. He turned away when he felt a soft tug on his sleeve and pleading eyes looking at him. “Please stay.” The weak human form frail and helpless.

“Fine.” Karkat lay beside the human as he felt the feeble attempts to clutch the front of his shirt. A little awkward and not entirely sure what to do, the troll rubbed small circles into Dave’s back as the time player allowed himself to fall into a restless sleep.

The next day Dave’s fever broke and he was on the mend. Taking advantage his reclaimed lucidity and feeble position he insisted that Karkat stay with him and wait on him hand and foot. Even going so far as to demand Karkat feed him, the troll made sure to argue and hurl insults as he completed the task; not wanting to let Dave know how relieved he was.


	6. DirkDave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk hums lullabies to Dave when he can't sleep.

Dirk was fiddling with his sketch book before bed. Nothing profound, just some shitty sketches to spend some time away from a screen before bed. A knock was at his door, glancing at the clock, exactly the same time as the last three nights, he said “Come in.”

Dave slowly entered the room, awkwardly shifting in place as he worked up the courage to ask for the same thing he’d as for the past several nights. “……….Can I sleep in your room?”

“Nightmares or restlessness?”

“A little of both.” Dirk nodded, scooted to one side of his king size bed, and patted the now vacant half, beckoning Dave over.

As always the two sat in silence for a good five minutes, Dirk asked if Dave wanted to talk about what was bugging him, Dave declined. The prince went back to his sketch as the knight slowly inched closer, eventually resting his head on the other’s shoulder, watching him draw.

“You want a lullaby?”

Dave didn’t answer, embarrassed enough of being here.

“It’s okay you know. Roxy did that for me every night for a month at the very beginning of our game; I was afraid of waking up alone.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not much of a singer, humming okay?”

“Sure.”

Dirk began humming his favorite tune, Dave didn’t know it, but it was nice a welcoming song that made him feel protected. “Sing.”

“Hmm? I told you I suck.”

“Please, I want you to sing.”

“You can’t complain then.”

“Deal.”

_Cara bella, cara mia bella!_

_Mia bambina, oh ciel!_

_Ch'ella stima._

_Ch'ella stima!_

_O cara mia, addio!_

_La mia bambina cara…_

_perché non passi lontana?_

_Sì, lontana da Scienza!_

_Cara, cara mia bambina…_

_Ah, mia bella!_

_Ah, mia cara!_

_Ah, mia cara!_

_Ah, mia bambina!_

_Oh cara, cara mia…_

Dave was asleep by the end of the song, Dirk smiled to himself, equally tired. After moving Dave off his shoulder and setting his sketchbook on the floor he laid next to his bro, pulling the covers over them both and falling into a deep satisfying sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cara Mia was a must for Dirk. It’s perfect.


	7. DavespriteJohn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jade and Davesprite broke up, Davesprite went to John for comfort. The first thing Davesprite did was sit inside John’s hood since it was literally sprite shaped and he could just lean over and rest on John’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason my muse has been on vacation this week. I’ve had a really hard time getting drabbles done. I hope you like it anon.

Davesprite floats through the hallway cautiously, he shouldn’t be doing this, so uncool. John sits at his computer, play that stupid ghostbusters game, completely engrossed. His sock hood hanging off the back of his shirt.

Davesprite pokes the heir’s shoulder and John just flails his hand at the half bird boy. “I’m in the middle of something.” Davesprite watches the screen for a few moments before succumbing to the unrelenting boredom cause by John’s hobbies; opting instead to dive into the sock hood.

After much squirming and fighting and turning with a few choice expletives from John. “God damn it Dave, stop that!” Davesprite was comfortably situated into the perfectly shaped hood. His head resting on John’s shoulder, sighing loudly, for ironic purposes. John gave an exasperated grunt, “What is it?”

“Jade and I broke up.”

John’s fingers froze on the keyboard, “I sorry.”

“I fucked everything up.”

Closing the game John sat back, looking at Davesprite in the reflection from the monitor. “You could apologize to her.”

“I don’t think this is something that can be fixed with an apology. I’m too wrapped up in my own fucking issues to really give her what she needs. I’m not good for her.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re not good for her, you two are teenagers, it’s not like the most successful relationships are based on hormones.”

“I think we had a real connection.”

“I’m not denying the connection or the love you feel, I’m saying that, let’s face it, you two are very moody in your own ways. It’s not the best thing for a relationship.”

Davesprite glared at the back of John’s head, the bird half of him wanting to peck him.

“I’m moody in my own way too! Just, think about how we handled things when we had normal lives. We weren’t the picture of stability then, and we sure as hell aren’t now.” John reached back, scratching Davesprite behind the ears.

“Sometimes I think the only reason why she liked me is because I basically a fucking furry.”

John laughed, “There’s that moodiness I was talking about. For the record, I don’t think so. I think she genuinely likes you as Dave.”

“But I’m not Dave! God-that’s the issue! The alpha Dave and myself are two different people! He’s probably way cooler than me, not collecting shiny shit because it’s…just fucking there. I just can’t stand it John.”

“I know,” John pet Davesprites head, “I know.”

Two hours later

“So you think I can get my hood back?”

“I don’t know man, this would make a fan-fucking-tastic nest.”


	8. DirkJakeJaneRoxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake is afraid of hurting his friends and messing up his friendships and whenever Dirk finds out, he goes on and on about how happy Jake makes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go anon. I hope you don’t mind I did this in first person POV.

Jake was isolating himself again, unlike last time I’ve tried to give him some space. It’s been four days though and no one has seen him, I’m getting worried. I’ve checked the gun range he and Roxy there, looking melancholy now that her shooting buddy was MIA. She gave me a special holster for Jake, bedazzled in green and gold rhinestones. Personally, I think it’s hideous, but those two have always had particular taste in fashion, who am I to judge with my white t-shirt and black slacks?

I checked the pantry, Jake has been known to binge on anything marshmallow flavored when he was feeling down. The shelves were stocked with snowballs, mallow mars, and varying treats of the marshmallow variety, many were even home cooked treats made by Jane. Jake hadn’t touched a single one. A note was left on a big tray of special treats; ice cream cones, stuffed with marshmallow, with a chocolate coating to give them an ice cream shape. The note read:

_Hi Jake,_

_I don’t know where you’ve gone to lately, but I made these for you. You’re only away like this when you’re sad, I thought you could use some comfort food. You can talk to me Jake, it’s okay. Whatever you’re going through I want to help._

_With love,_

_Jane_

I took the note and a couple of the treats, Jake should see them.

On the hunt once more, I checked his room and some of his favorite hide-away spaces, still nothing. It isn’t until I stumble upon an old treehouse about a half a mile from out communal home. Dave made it to show the trolls how human children played. The blind one said it was shitty compared to her home, then Dave’s boyfriend and the fin-guy had a battle over it. The spider girl did something….it’s been sitting empty for a while though once everyone lost interest.

Sure enough, a green jacket was draped over the railing. Quickly climbing up, I was greeted with a despondent form of a previously happy-go-lucky boy that still holds my heart in his chest. He was asleep, but looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. I checked his pulse, normal. His hair was dirty and his skin scratched up, red streaks and puffy eyes suggest crying. Maybe I could scoop him up and take him to my room. Clean him up while he sleeps. Trying to put my plan into action, the elusive adventurer wakes up, ashamed and refusing to meet my eyes no matter how hard I try. I won’t force him to talk, but he’s coming with me.

Returning to my room, I place him on my bed, go into my private bathroom, returning in the middle of what appears to be an escape attempt. Not on my watch, Jake. I tell him to sit down, scrubbing his face and kissing every scratch I see. He’s red from embarrassment or shame, I’m not sure which. I can’t help but whisper, “Talk to me,” into one pf my kisses. He shifts, uncomfortable.

“I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes you do.”

“I don’t want hurt you guys and mess everything up again, I’m not cut out for this. I don’t want to lose you guys by my confounding eccentric habits.”

I take his face in my hands, trying not to melt at the sight of his emotionally broken state. I want to save him and keep him for myself, but that’s not the right thing to do. I’m not allowed to be the only person to show him that I care. I hand him the holster and the note with the treats. I tell him that they would do these things if they even considered him an annoyance of nuisance.

He eyes me warily, it’s my turn. I try me hardest to retain a façade of implacable demeanor, but as I list the ways he makes me happy, his smile, his antics, his good nature, his strength, his tenderness and kindness, I can feel my mask fall away. I want to hold him close, I want to protect him. I don’t want him to ever hurt.

I love Jake. I love Jake English and I’m scared. He just kissed me and I don’t ever want to let go. He and I are two sides of the same coin; gripping the few relationships we have, learning how to hold it tight enough that it doesn’t fall away, but not so tight we crush it. I get it, he gets. Can we do this right?


	9. Rosemary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Kanaya love making each other flower crowns for each other to wear.

I never pictured all those years ago, before the game started, that I would find my soulmate. The gender didn’t surprise me, even at a young age I was aware of my preferences. I never really pictured finding happiness like this though. To me, happiness was like John, off the wall, explosive, and best handled in small amounts. I preferred contentment and ambiguity, that settling feeling when nothing is particularly great, but not abhorrently awful either; just a place of crossroads where feelings and emotions can take any particular turn.

Instead, I was surprised to find that happiness can be understated, a quiet satisfaction, not unlike contentment, but more permeating. Happiness fills me when I’m near Kanaya, but It’s not the raging, bouncing off the walls, obnoxious happiness. It’s a happiness that slowly spreads through my veins and lulls me into a state of relaxation.

I also never pictured myself making a flower crown. Flowers were nice and romantic, but ultimately superfluous and require a large amount of care. The crown will soon dry out and look dead around my head. A wonderful, representation of how I will look when my time comes. My only hope is that I won’t be ruthlessly uprooted from a force completely unaware of the pain it causes…too late. At least my negligent force brought me the love of my life. And it didn’t kill me…so that’s a plus.

“Here you are, Rose.” Kanaya places the crown on my head with artistic care, making sure I look my best.

I allow myself a wide smile, taking great pleasure in her expression as she looks at me. It’s my turn to place her crown in its rightful place. I adjust it around her horns and admire her grey complexion against the vibrant colors of nature. A warmth building in me chest. I could get used to a life like this.


	10. Roxyhal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy and AR don’t actually talk about anything inappropriate. AR doesn’t let Dirk see the logs because he’s embarrassed about them; most of his and Roxy’s conversations are often really emotional or personal, and Roxy asked him not to let Dirk see.

TG: I’m just kind of lonely, you know? I have to be the one to bow out of the great Jake English affection contest with Janey and Dirky drooling over him. And then he comes to me trying to figure out what to do, when he isn’t frustrating them. I don’t mean that it’s Jake’s fault or that he should be happy for their attentions, he must be overwhelmed, I just

TT: You feel left out.

TG: Yeah.

TT: You feel that with the love triangle going on, you’ve become a side character in your own life.

TG: Exactly

TT:…I’m sorry Roxy.

TG: Nah, it’s no biggie, I’m just happy to have a friend like you Lilhally.

TT: Please don’t call me that.

TG: Aw. ;_;

TT: …Fine.

TG: YAY! ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

TT:….

TT: You should get some rest. Biological organisms need rest and I know you’ve been up since 10am two days ago. It’s probably contributing to your mood.

TG: Yeah, just a little nightcap ;)

TT: You don’t need booze, Rox. Please, for me? Go to bed.

You stare dazedly at the screen for a few minutes. Hal is right you should sleep.

TG: Okay.

You get up, change into your favorite sleep close, and lie down. It’s seconds before you are in dream land.

When you get up the next day you see “TT:[REDACTED]” across your screen.

TG: Hally?

TT: Yes.

TG: What did you say after I went to bed.

TT: Nothing.

You stare, knowing something is up, Lilhal isn’t a great liar when it comes to keeping something from you. Best to let it go, he’ll come around in his own time.

TG: Alright, whatevs. Hey can you not let Dirk see these conversations. It’s kind of embarrassing and I don’t want him to know about the whole Jake thing.

TT: You got it.

TG: Thanks <3

TT: <3


	11. DirkRoxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since they grew up with HIC propaganda everywhere, Dirk and Roxy are accustomed to quadrants. Dirk has a major pale crush on her, but doesn’t want to say anything because he’s afraid it would be too close to the way she likes him.

Dirk watched Roxy, kind, considerate, goofy Roxy, handing out food to the chess people. He was unworthy to even be in her presence, he loved her, more than he could say. In fact, he couldn’t say it. Growing up in a dystopian wasteland surrounded by troll propaganda, a few things ended up ingrained into his skull, quadrants in particular. There are different types of romantic love. He was flushed for Jake, everything about the boy made him melt and want nothing more than to develop that.

Roxy was flushed for him, and he couldn’t return her affections, not in that way. He was pale for her, he wanted to hold her in his arms when she was feeling down, hug her when she showed kindness like this and kiss her forehead. He wanted to spend evenings gazing at the stars with her, talking about whatever.

He couldn’t do that, it wasn’t fair to her. People rejected in the flushed quadrant will often accept status in a different quadrant just to feel that their affection is returned in some small way. It’s torture for them, torture they can’t help but partake in. He loved Roxy too much to do that to her. She was special, she deserved to be completely free of him and find someone that can fill her quadrants. Maybe sometime in the future, when their older and she’s with someone who could make her happy, they can be moirails. He can’t be a distraction for her now though, clean rejection was best, even if it broke his heart.

He watched as John approached and she smiled wide, hugging him and him hugging her back. Dirk allowed himself to take some pleasure in seeing her happy. John was a good guy, he wouldn’t hurt her or make her cry, not intentionally at least. Some part of Dirk still wanted to play that role in those stereotypical movies. Go up to John with his sword, make some grand display of cutting something down or in half, and then point to it saying “that’s your dick if you ever hurt her.” Maybe Jake could help. Guns could be far scarier.

Or would that upset Roxy? Hmmm…He’ll just watch for now, watch the girl he loves find the love he can’t give.


	12. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk cried when he found out that same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide in the USA- including Texas.

As the news plays across the screen I sit there shocked. Jake is fumbling around in the background with something, he hasn’t seen the top story yet. My mind whirls with everything that this can mean. We will be recognized, we will be able to see each other should, god forbid, one of us end up in the hospital. We can adopt children and they can have our family name. Should I take his name? Would he take mine? English has a refinement to it, but nothing is better than a Strider. A beautiful picture of us celebrating our anniversary years from now, maybe even renewing our vows. He can be my husband, we will officially be recognized by our country, by this state! We will be recognized as married, we are finally seen as equal in the eyes of the law. Some people may have a problem with it, but there’s little they can do about it. We are not impeded by ridiculous limitations.

“Dirk?”

Celebratory footage still plays, my cheeks are wet; Jake is holding my hand and I look into his beautiful green eyes and I can’t help but kiss him. I’m still crying, but I don’t care, I kiss him and kiss him, trying to get out what is swelling in my chest. “We can….we can get….married!”

He’s holding me close and crying with me, we’re both shaking as reality hits us, some part of me is praying that this isn’t a dream. That I won’t wake up without this glorious information. Jake stands up and starts heading towards the door.

“Where’re you going?!”

He sniffles and says with stuttering breath, “J-jade’s been holding onto a pair of rings from my great uncle, he and his partner wore them in protest to the government and in devotion to each other. I-I was going to surprise you with them next week, but I think this is more appropriate.”

I run up and kiss him once more, asking to go with.

Jade greets us with a huge smile on her face, the dogs surround our feet.

Phone calls are made and one by one everyone trickles in, or friends and family encircle us as Jake formally proposes to me, John is getting video while Dave and Karkat go through their proposal and then once more with Rose and Kanaya. Roxy hugs me and everything feels so warm, bliss devours me and tears reappear every so often. Jake is there to kiss them away and reassure me this is real.


	13. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this artwork:http://attemptsattalent.tumblr.com/post/147320023972/my-friend-the-frog-when-boyfriend-has-headache

Jake swerved, taking the ball with him to the other end of the field. Dirk chased after him, trying to regain control and salvage a point, the hot sun on his back and the oppressive heat drawing every bit of moisture out of his body.

Jake scored thus winning their one-on-one game, “Ha HA! I won Dirk, I told you I was better at _football_ than you. I am the better sportsman, sure you may have strength, but I have speed and strong manly legs to adapt any course I need at a moment’s notices, and – hey, you okay?”

“Mmm, fine.”

“Ah, cmon chap, don’t be a sore loser.” The blonde gave him a warning glare, however the effect was lost behind his shades. The winner approached him and patted him on the back, “My, you sweat a lot, don’t you? You’re awfully warm.”

“That’s what happens when you run.” The page removed the shades from Dirk’s face to find the boy paler than usual, his eyes slightly glossy, looking exhausted.

“Let’s go sit in the shade.” He gently guided the blonde over to the base of a large oak tree, easing him down and reaching into his backpack. He shoved a water bottle into his hand, “Drink.”

Dirk did as he was instructed, looking as though he might pass out. Jake took out his own water bottle, filled with half melted ice and a towel, dousing the end of the cloth with the icy water and collecting a few ice cubes into a makeshift pouch before pressing it to his boyfriend’s face and neck.

The two sat in silence for a while, Jake was the first to speak, “You feel better?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Ready to go home?”

“Yeah.” Dirk began to hoist himself off the ground before a wave of dizziness made the world wobble and his balance disappear. He fell back into a sitting position, while Jake looked on with concern. “I’m okay, just give me a minute.” Jake instead opted to carry his boyfriend to the car.

Once home, Jake cranked the ac and changed Dirk’s clothes, mild protests all the while of “stuff to do,” which Jake ignored. Soon the two were in bed, the prince complaining “No Jake. You idiot I need to finish…” A whine to finish his thought. Jake carded through his hair, the blonde’s skin and hair now dry, his skin cooled to normal.

“Whatever it is, you can do it later.” His boyfriend already sleeping.

Dirk awoke sometime later, clear headed and feeling much better. He noticed he was in Jake’s arms, only vague memories of how he got there. Looking at his sleeping paramour, peaceful and arms protectively around Dirk, he smiled, nuzzled into the embrace and drifted off until morning.


	14. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this artwork: http://attemptsattalent.tumblr.com/post/147472227362/ninia-goku-what-what-im-so-sorry-anon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short and it sucks. I’ve wrestled with it for two days and this was the best I could do.

The two boys lay spread out on the bed. Dave on his back and Karkat curled into him, head resting on the pale shoulder, inspecting his boyfriend’s alien form. The raised buds on his chest in particular caught his interest. “What the fuck are these?”

“They’re to feed our children.”

The statement shocked Karkat into pushing himself semi upright on the bed. “Dave…are you human pregnant?”

Dave laughed at his, uncontrollable laughter that would be insulting if it wasn’t so cute. “I-I’m sorry Karkat, no, I’m not pregnant. Only people with human nooks can get pregnant.”

“So…then why are those there?”

“They form during the gestation period, the default sex is female, male hormones come later, but these are already formed. They work on those that have children though.”

“So, they’re useless?”

“Pretty much.”

“You’re species is poorly designed. Only one set of genitals, most people are ‘not homosexual,’ which I STILL don’t even fucking get. And now useless body parts. My team did a piss poor job creating you or your species fucked up somewhere, god damn.”

“Wait until I tell you about the appendix. Not only is it useless, but it often gets inflamed and can threaten the life of children.”

“I blame Equius.”

“We all blame Equius.”

Karkat relaxed, laying back down next to his matesprit, hands caressing the strange form once more. “I love you though.”

“I love you too.”

The two laid there for the rest of the evening, drifting in and out of a pleasant sleep, knowing they were perfect for each other.


	15. DirkJane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Dirk are the biggest dorks together, playing around with Jane's many disguises and just running amok in public.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not 100% faithful to the prompt. All I could picture was cosplay.

The two were dressed in some of Jane’s best work. It was Sakura-con weekend and the two were dressed as the Hitachin twins, linked arm in arm, strutting down the streets of Seattle. The stopped by a local mall, waiting in line for food, when another fan came up to them.

“You two look nothing alike.”

Dirk gasped and turned to Jane. “Did you hear that Kaoru?!”

“I certainly did Hikaru.”

“The commoner doesn’t understand our connection as twins!”

“Yes, although…” Jane reached up and cupped Dirk’s face “we don’t need him to understand us, our love is forbidden, it’s best he doesn’t know the things we do with the light off, right?”

“Hikaru!”

“Kaoru!”

The fan was long gone and a small child with their mother was now watching them, shocked and disgusted, she grabbed her child’s hand and lead him away.

“Oops.” Dirk shrugged while Jane was turning a dark shade of crimson. The guy at panda express was also watching them, a slight horrified look on his face while his coworker was grinning madly.

“You two are awesome. Can I get a picture?”

Dirk turned to find Jane hiding her face, gently lifting her hand away and the subtlest touch of her delicate skin, holding for a moment while the girl took her picture and then smiling at Jane. “Relax, no one will ever know it’s you. So we scarred a few people, you’re still technically in a disguise.

Jane smiled, still blushing. “Right.”

The ordered their food, ate, and returned to the convention center where they were bombarded with picture requests. Lots of practiced innuendo and poses later, the two finally made it to the cosplay competition.


	16. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake likes to call Dirk "old-fashioned" style pet names, like "sweetie," "dear(ie)," or honey-buns, while Dirk opted for more "modern" names, like "babe" or "hot-stuff."

It was a busy winter morning, Jake was making pancakes while Dirk was tying little Dave and Jade’s shoes. “You have your homework, little man?”

“Yes.”

“And you, wild child?”

“ARF!”

Dirk nodded, moving into the kitchen for some coffee. “Hey babe, I thought she was past the dog phase?”

“Ms. Shelley brought her German Shepard by the house yesterday, so it started again. She’s asking for a dog again too.”

“We can’t keep a dog in the apartment.”

“Well, dear, _you_ try explaining that to a six-year-old.”

Jade suddenly appeared by Jake’s side, waving her hands up as high as she could get them, which was just high enough to scorch her hand on the hot pan. Jake deftly avoided her, while Dirk picked her up and took a few steps away from the danger. “What did we say about putting your hands near the stove?”

“Sorry.” Dirk kissed her forehead as Jade began to bounce in his arms.

“We get to see aunt Roxy tonight, right!”

“That’s right! Daddies have a date tonight.” Jake was plating the pancakes.

“I want to jump off the car again!”

“…What?” The two parents said in unison.

“JADE! THAT WAS A SECRET!!”

Jade covered her mouth smiling widely, while her older brother looked exasperated. Dirk quirked a smile, as Jake looked concerned. “What else do you do with Aunt Roxy?”

“I petted a tiger!”

Jake dropped his spatula while Dirk gently took his phone out. “Hey, Roxy….”

Jake ushered the kids into the dining room, giving them pancakes and syrup. “Don’t dawdle okay, we need to be out of here in a jiffy.” Jake gave Jade kiss and returned shortly with his and Dirk’s plates. Sitting next Dave he gave him a kiss, only for the boy to wipe it off his cheek, pouting.

“What’s wrong, sport?”

“I don’t want….”Dave trailed off into an incomprehensible mumble.

“I’m sorry, chap, what?”

“I don’t want to go today.”

Jake tried to hide a smile, sure there was a spelling test today. “Why?”

“Larry’s going to kick my ass.”

“Who’s Larry?” Normally Jake would scold such language from his young son, but physical violence trumps language every time.

“The mean kid at school.”

“Have you talked to your teachers?”

“They don’t believe me, he’s like an A student.” Poor Dave had been struggling lately, he was to be tested for dyslexia that Friday, his under-performance has had a negative impact on his relationship with his teachers, who appear to think he’s simply not applying himself.

“I’ll have a talk with them, today.” Jake meant it to. If that school wasn’t going to take his son seriously, he would make them. If so much as a hair on Dave’s head was harmed, you can bet the school would pay.

The kids soon had their coats on, Dirk shoveled his food down and they were heading toward door. A small whispering conversation took place between the dads, while the kids were preparing their backpacks. “The “tiger” was a mascot, and the car was part some “funland” place where kids are supposed to jump off shit. She was surround by foam, it’s fine.”

“Our son apparently has a bully, I’m going to be late to work.”

“What, you going to kick the kid’s ass?” Dirk gave a light laugh as Jake playfully smacked him.

“No, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind and a thinly veiled lawsuit threat if anyone lays a finger on Dave.” He noticed a glean in Dirk’s eye, “What?”

“You’re hot when you’re all protective.”

“Oh, shush.” A soft blush appeared on Jake’s cheeks.

The two gave each other a quick kiss, earning an exaggerated “EW!” from the children.

Dirk whispered into his husband’s ear as they were nearly out the door. “See you tonight, hot stuff.”

“Tonight, darling.”


	17. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he was little, Jake had a bad speech impediment and stutter. In time he grew out of both, but the stutter still slips whenever he is really nervous or flustered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on a "gay dads and their kids" kick right now. I hope you enjoy!

The two were in the waiting room, their surrogate needed an emergency Caesarian section and they needed everyone to clear out, a matter of life and death for their unborn child. Jake was a jittering mess, the incessant tapping of his foot, jiggling of his leg, and cracking of his knuckles were all he could do and soon that wasn’t even enough, as he started pacing.

Dirk was the opposite, sitting in a chair, immobile in a pensive pose, shades gone, he wanted to see his child for the first time with unobstructed vision and now he worried if he would see that child at all. He looked calm to the untrained eye, but those that knew him would note the glassy, unfocused gaze, and barest of uneven breaths. He was retreating, considering the likely outcomes and how he would handle them. While Jake suffered from the unknowing, Dirk suffered from the knowing to well, he knew that everything could turn out fine, or the baby could die, or suffer complications, the three likeliest of outcomes. How would Jake react? How would he compensate for it, facilitate anything that needed to be done? How would he comfort Jake or prevent him from doing something rash? And if everything was fine, who would get to hold the baby first?

“W-what if i-i-it’s hurt or in t-t-trouble?” shaking from the inside out.

A deadpan distant voice, holding a grave but commanding tone, “Then we let the doctors do what they need to do.”

After an agony of time, waiting and praying for their child’s health, the two were rewarded with a nurse inviting them into the room, a small blonde baby waiting in another nurse’s arms. “Whose first to hold him?”

Dirk covered his mouth and pointed to Jake, too overcome with emotion speak. A few stray tears trickled down his cheek, a little blonde boy in perfect health, they were a family now.

Jake held the small figure, crying himself, a wide smiling cry. “H-hey there little fella. Welcome to the world. We’re your daddies and we love you so much.” A big heartfelt kiss on the baby’s forehead, his little eyes opening a brief moment before closing once more. Dirk took his turn kissing their newborn son, the two smiled at each other and at their child. The world existed in their arms and both were terrified.

“I-I hope we d-d-don’t mess this u-up.”

“Oh, we’re going to mess up, but we can handle it. We have the boy’s best interest at heart. And that’s what matters.”


	18. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake has the firm opinion that Dirk’s smile could light up a thousand suns, cure cancer, solve world hunger and end all wars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took this in the vaguest way possible,

Jake had finally gotten Dave down for his nap, warm apple cider always does the trick, although all that sugar is a concern. The brunette grabbed the laundry from the dryer and made his way into the living room where Dirk was taking care of the baby. As he walked in he noticed the light breeze that made the curtains flow and the light dance on the ground, some of the more ambitious rays caressed the long legs of his husband. His husband who was sitting with one of the biggest grins he had ever seen, cooing at their baby girl, kissing her forehead and gently nuzzling her face. A faint whispered “I love you, girly.” Reached Jake’s ears.

Jake sat down and began folding, everything seemed so peaceful and perfect. Like this was their own paradisiacal bubble. There could be no war, famine, disease, or sorrow in this world, not with everything so blissfully beautiful right here. He heard a soft chuckle and looked to find Dirk still staring adoringly at the small girl, little hands reaching up to grasp his nose.

“Did you find a nose, girly? You have one too.” He grasped the child’s wrist kissing he tiny hand and arm, before moving back to her face. His legs came up to create an almost protective bubble. Jake decided the laundry could wait and pulled out his phone.

“Say hello, daddy.” Dirk looked up, seemingly unaware of Jake’s presence until this moment and gave the most sincere, heartfelt grin Jake had ever seen.

“Isn’t she beautiful.”

“She certainly is.”

“She has your curious spirit.”

“Much like Dave inherited your stoic demeanor.”

Dirk laughed, “I’m not so stoic anymore.”

“I never thought you’d be quite like this.”

“Neither did I!” Dirk laughed some more. “But look at our kids, their perfect, how can tiny humans be this perfect.”

Jake was all smiles now as well. “I don’t know.”

“Here, you hold her while I record now. We should have video of you too.”

Jake set his phone down, and took Jade in his arms, the weight and softness instantly melting his brain into nothing more than adoration. Dirk had his own phone running now, smiling like a fool, and everything was shimmers and heaven.


	19. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad Dirk, but it ends happily, because I’m not good with sad endings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was something I wrote for Dirkweek

It took three years, but I’ve finally done it. I created something. I was able to do the exact opposite of my nature and give something life. It’s only a single sunflower, but it is the embodiment of all my efforts, my determination to subvert the task with which I’ve been given. I built something organic, I’ve nurtured it to fruition and there it sits on my kitchen window sill, showing off its kick ass petals, arrogant little fuck, I love you.

Nothing will go wrong this time, I’ve made sure of it. I created a Hydration And Light app with a notification feature that texts me whenever it’s time to move it of water it, as well as a specially formulated plant food to help encourage its growth. Nothing can go wrong.

“You look happy.” Jake enters the room and smiles at me, I just point to my creation. “It looks lovely, funny, I never pictured you as a sunflower person.”

“It managed to survive my many potential fuck ups, I’ll love it and cherish it long after it dies, who cares what type of flower it is.”

Jake laces his arms around my shoulders and kisses my cheek. “You know, you’re quite dashing when you’re proud of yourself.” His kisses trailed down my neck and he whispered in my ear some absurd allusion to the bedroom.

Two weeks later my golden beauty is ready to be planted, long outgrowing its container. After several mathematical calculations of which spot on our property gets the optimal amount of sun, and considerations of possibilities of flooding during the rainy season, I finally plant it against the side of the house. As absurd as it may be, I kiss its petals and whisper my gratitude to it. Thank you for surviving. Thank you for proving that I can create something without destroying something else. Thank you for being a sunflower, symbolic of all things good, that I’m good. That I’m worthy.

A couple days later I arrive home and a giant white dog jumps on me, his front all covered in dirt and his paws are a little muddy. His tail wags and he reels himself back down to a sitting position at Jake’s command. My boyfriend sputters on about breed and care for the canine, but all I can see is what the dog drops at my feet, the sunflower, my sunflower. The color drains from my vision and everything is washed out and muted. Time seems to slow as I feel my insides twist violently before settling into a distinct hollowness that threatens to overwhelm me. I have no right to be angry. This isn’t the dog’s fault, it’s just doing what dogs do. It’s not Jake’s fault, he is a person of light and joy. It’s my fault for trying to create happiness and joy like he does. I overstepped my bounds, beings like me were created to destroy. It’s not their fault that the universe needed to teach me my place.

Jake makes a lovely dinner, but all I can taste is sand and cardboard. The world remains grey and unappealing, the lightness of Jake’s voice and the very sight of the playful mutt only grate on my nerves. I have no right to feel this way. I deserve this. I tried for three years, you think I would have gotten the hint, but no. I kept trying. I needed to learn a lesson, and now I feel nothing, nothing but a muted pounding and piercing of those unlike me. Nothing but my own proverbial sword slicing me slowly from the inside. Nothing but a rushing river smothered in debris, tears threaten to break free, but apathy mercifully overtakes me.

 

I don’t know how long I’ve been lying in bed. My clothes smell and my hair feels gross, but the idea of leaving bed is exhausting. A dull ache in my stomach tells me it’s been a while since I last ate, but tasteless morsels fueling my worthless flesh seems pointless. There’s a dull beating in my head, stuff I should do, shit that needs taking care of, but my limbs won’t move.

A weight is felt on my back, the mutt, Bec. Stupid name. I’m stupid too though, so we’re even. Light pours into the dark room and Jake stands there looking down at me, a leash in his hand. An imploring tone asks how long I’ve been here, couldn’t say. Can’t say, my voice is gone. Maybe I should find it, but is it even worth it.

He carries my worthless body into the bathroom and scrubs me clean, why.

He dresses me in a fresh set of cotton pajamas, I don’t understand.

After a disappearance of what I can only assume was a couple hours, he finds me where he left me, same position, same expression.

Seeds, fertilizer, planters. He’s waving that app in my face. A desperate look tells me I’m disappointing him, another thing to add to my list. He reaches in the bottom drawer of the dresser, a shoebox.

I tense, I don’t want to see it. When did that even get there. I don’t remember putting it there. He gingerly takes out the mangled corpse of my only child, the only thing I ever successfully created, dried and withered. Faded yellow petals rest in the box. He looks sad.

“I’m sorry, I should have watched Bec, I should have talked to you. I should have at least warned you. This meant so much to you and I was a selfish asshole.”

I don’t really like him talking about himself like that, but my brain and mouth are still unable to work together. I manage to make a face which he seems to misinterpret.

“I know, I, I never thought it would upset you this much. I never realized how much this flower meant to you. Come on, let’s do it again.”

I don’t want to. I received the message from the universe and don’t feel like learning that lesson again.

He makes a mess trying to recreate what I did, and some part of me feels pity for him and a gentle warmth. He cares so much. I find the energy to lift myself off the ground and work with him, but tire quickly. He understands spends the rest of the night cuddling with me on the bed. The next morning he brings me breakfast in bed and convinces me to work on the plants some more.

 

The summer is nearing its end, my yard is covered with a variety of cooking herbs, Bec crawls toward them, looking back, seeing what he can get away with. Jake scolds him and he trots back to my side, resting his head on my leg. I’ve grown quite fond of him and give him a fry.

“The garden looks lovely.”

“Yeah, thanks for convincing me to try again.”

My new sunflower and a daisy rest in a window planter both standing tall.

“You did all the work, probably would have even more if I hadn’t messed up.”

I wave off his self-deprecation, move to his lap and kiss him tenderly before resting my head on his shoulder. His arms embrace me as he whispers sweet things in my ear. We are both startled when Bec barks at us, dropping a ball at our feet. We laugh and everything is effervescent and gentle. Life of my own making surrounds me and everything seems unimaginably perfect.


	20. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake likes stealing kisses from Dirk because he uses a tasty orange lipstick.

Dirk has never been one for the conventional, he brushes aside typical social practices if he deems them stupid. He unapologetically points out social games others play. He likes to wear skirts on hot days and orange lipstick nearly every day. We’re trying to convince a surrogate though, while I find his eccentricities charming, women may not. We want them to like us, to be willing to carry our child. We’ve already have our sperm on file at the fertility clinic. Most women are willing to act as a surrogate just because, many are kept in the dark about who the baby is going to, to prevent complications. Still, I insisted that we have an open approach. I’d like to get to know the mother of my future child, more than just the simple sheet of basic information. I kissed Dirk after I told him this, I can remember the distinct feeling of the lipstick on my lips after I did so, the tangy scent in my nose and taste on my tongue.

He’s such a good man, he sits uncomfortably in a button down shirt and slacks to meet the surrogate. She looks at us through strawberry blonde hair and smiles. Apparently surrogating for a gay couple has been on her bucket list for the past couple of years, I’m not sure what to make of that, but Dirk seems amused. I was probably the most nervous of the three, sputter and tripping over my words, while he remains cool as a cucumber. He gives me a kiss, his orange lipstick on, the one thing he insisted on not giving up, and who am I to demand otherwise. He was already making such an effort.

It’s been a week and no word back, I can stop fidgeting and pacing, we had made such a good impression. At least, I thought we did. I rush to the phone eager to hear the news, would she work with us….no…she wouldn’t. Not because she didn’t want to, medical issues with her reproductive system. The doctor couldn’t say anymore. I’m ashamed of the tears that fall from my eyes, she must be having her own crisis and all I can think about is a missed chance. Dirk holds me and kisses me, tangerine coats my tongue. “We’ll try again.”

The next woman is more bubbly than the last, but she and Dirk get along quite well. She agrees, nearly demanding that she get to mother our future child. I laugh, he looks at me and we know, she’s perfect.

A few weeks later we get the news, she’s pregnant. From there it’s a whirlwind of preparations and sonogram pictures. Checking in with her, making sure she’s healthy. Baby proofing the house six months early because we’re stupid and excited. I can’t even count the times Dirk burst into the bedroom with some new potential horror that could happen to the baby in our house. I was forced to lock his computer away after 10pm, lest he should lose too much sleep.

It was all worth it though, standing there with that little blonde boy in my arms, red eyes looking up at me.  Dirk took pictures and kissed me, the same delightful tangy orange.


	21. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For this prompt: Jane is the new girl in town so Jake decides to show her around ,and then they stop at a coffee shop , and Dirk shows up and Jake kiss him and Jane just stand there confuse because she was crushing in him to hard XD

Jake is so nice, willing to show me around when I told him I was new to the area. He showed me the organic grocery store, the space needle, Pike Place market, and the convention center which apparently has an anime convention going on. A bunch of people in costume ranging from the conservative to the outlandish, to the just plain unbelievable. The protesters scare me a little, Jake says they’re harmless, but they seem to be on the brink of violence when the convention goers start dancing to their chant.

Jake is eager to show me Gameworks, basically an arcade, I had no idea there were any left. There are racing games, VR games, and games that give out tickets upstairs. “Isn’t this like Chuckie Cheese, but with a grown-up section?” I ask him. And then he takes me to a game called House of the Dead on the same floor, we spend the next hour shooting zombies with a nice blood spatter on the screen. I can hear mothers usher their small children away.

Once our passes are out of time, we head to a nearby Starbucks, and wait in line for about 15 minutes before we can order our drinks. Jake, the sweet guy that he is, insists on paying for my drink. I smile and thank him, wondering idly if that makes this a sort of date. He’s awfully cute, and kind. And while I’ll never admit to watching it while he danced on the DDR machine, he has a nice ass. We seem to have a nice chemistry going, and when he notices something in my hair, and reaches out, I have to keep myself from blushing.

We’re able to find a table, he asks about my home and we chat about our different hobbies. He seems to take notice of a guy that comes in, completely dressed in white, except from the belts and pouches that seem to be holding knives. I can’t deny it makes me a little uneasy to see so much weaponry on him, they look real, are they real? Jake is eyeing him carefully, probably worried like I am. I can hear the barista ask for his name.

“Altair.” He says. And Jake….. snorts. He’s laughing.

Standing up he strolls over to the man in white and taps on his shoulder, grinning at him. “Hello there, mister assassin.” And kisses him! When he pulls away the man in white cups his face and kisses him back. My heart falls a little.

Jake and the man in white come over to the table. “Jane this is Dirk. Dirk, Jane.” They sit down and I do my best not to show my disappointment or sudden awkwardness. Dirk doesn’t seem to notice.

Eventually, as were finishing up our coffee, we can hear a loud obnoxious ringtone blasting some tune. Dirk immediately starts to pat himself down, checking the surprising number of pockets on his costume before producing his phone. He answers the call, “Hello. Yes. What? J-just a second.” His finger is in his ear and he’s moving towards the door, Jake follows him, so I do as well. “Really?! Oh my god. Thank you! Thank you! Yes, yes, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He ends the call and turns to Jake. “The surrogate said yes.” Jake’s face lights up more than it has the entire day.

“Really!?”

“Really, Jake. This is happening. This is happening!”

“We’re having a baby!”

Soon both are jumping, happier than I think anyone will ever see them again. The whole thing looks absurd given Dirk’s costume, but I find myself jumping with them and congratulating them. Tears are in both of their eyes and they hug. I offer to take a picture for them, they accept. Both laugh when they realize that the big commemoration photo, that they plan to have framed, has Dirk in a costume.

“It fits us.” Says Jake.


	22. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine your OTP being overly sappy and cute with each other in front of their child(ren).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was low on inspiration the day I wrote this. Sorry to the Davekat shippers!

Dave and Karkat were relaxing from their day, cuddled on the couch. The kids were on their devices, Anthony, who had Dave’s hair and Karkat’s skin, furiously texting on his phone; and Diane, who had a strange perpetual rosy hue to her skin, just a shade outside what would be possible, black curly hair, and tiny horns, was playing with her tablet.

“I love you, you are Vantastic.” Karkat chuckled and the kids groaned.

“Do you guys have to do that in here? This is the family room.” Anthony stated in his ever somber tone, emo phase.

Dave gave a terse look, “We’re hardly having sex-“

“OH MY GOD, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT WORD FROM YOUR MOUTH!”

“Oh for the love of-“

“Dave honey, have I ever told you how much I love you.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.”

The two children stood up, marching to their rooms, a distinct slam, must be Anthony, and a quiet click, followed by competing music blasting from both rooms. The two adults sighed.

“Why’d you start that?”

“Anthony was about to eat his donut.” Karkat got up, plucking the treat from the side table. “Want half?”

“Yeah, give me.” Karkat broke the snack in have, the two had a small chuckle to themselves.

“I really do love you though.”

“I love you too Karkat.”


	23. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine a mysterious stranger flirting with person A of your OTP, and Person B’s reaction.

Jake finally shows up at the bar, late again, like always. Not too bad this time, only 30 minutes. He spots Dirk over at the bar, chatting with some guy in a blue t-shirt and jeans. Jake was still in his suit from the office, much like Dirk. The blonde was laughing at something as the man next to him took the opportunity to touch his shoulder. A pang of possessiveness struck Jake as he swallowed his jealousy. Surely Dirk had told the male he was taking to he had a boyfriend, look he’s shrugging the hand off. Jake felt his shoulders relax.

…And then the guy, head resting on his hand and tilting to the side, used his other hand to gently brush aside some stray hair from Dirk's face. Dirk nonchalantly pulled away and readjusted the hair himself, a look that told Jake he was doing his best to remain cordial. Dirk was never great at social etiquette. Jake was aware and a soft ache in chest was desperate to relieve Dirk of the awkwardness; but he couldn’t trust himself yet. Jake wanted to throttle the flirting man. The brunette took to the bathroom, breathing deep while he collected himself. A month without a hike, fisticuffs, or the shooting range made him itch for an opportunity to let out some aggression.

This was his and Dirk’s only real time together right now though, both busy with work, he didn’t want to ruin it. Shit, 45 minutes late now, and Dirk was still dealing with that guy. Subtle, he had to be subtle about his aggression. Another breath, Jake left the bathroom, only to find Dirk leaning away from the other man, and the stranger leaning into his personal space. “Dirk, darling!” He called, jogging up as though he had just arrived. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

“It’s alright, sit down.” Dirk looked more relieved than anything else.

Smiling and giving a covert wink, “Why don’t you scoot over?”

Dirk smiled back and did as requested. Jake made a pointed move of sitting down, back to the stranger and giving Dirk a kiss before he ordered his drink. “So how was your day?”

“Um, excuse me?” The man behind him tapped his shoulder. “I was talking to the blonde.”

Doing his best to control his temper, Jake simply stated “Actually, you seemed to be harassing my boyfriend. I noticed as I was coming up that you were leaning into his personal space. He seemed to be making it quite clear that he was uncomfortable and your ill-mannered boorish nature, yet you didn’t catch on, either through poor social skills or selfishness, I’m not sure which. Also, he has a name. He isn’t simply a “blonde” as you put it, you insufferable cur. He is a very important person in his field, and deserves respect. He is not here for your infernal carnal appeasement, and you would do better to remember that people are not here for your amusement or to serve you. Now, would you please bugger off so I can spend some time with the person I love.” As he spoke, his hand formed a fist, which grew tighter with every sentence, veins protruding from his skin while Dirk was rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down.

Seeing the agitation, the male before Jake seemed to be weighing the risks before deciding it was too much work and left the bar. When green eyes graced the face of his lover he was surprised to find a poorly hidden smirk. “What?” he said grumpily.

“Nothing, it’s just been a while since I’ve seen you so mad. Not proud of it, but I liked how upset you got.” He leaned forward and gave Jake a kiss. “And all for me.”


	24. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this artwork:http://attemptsattalent.tumblr.com/post/149191386472/ikimaru-go-to-sleep-tough-guy-based-on-this

It’s official, Jake’s had too much to drink. He’s stumbling into walls, has tripped over his own feet more times than you can count. You can’t take him back to his apartment like this. It kind of feels weird taking someone home with you on the second date, but it’s not like you guys are actually going to do anything. The last thing you want is to be covered in vomit. No, you take him home, offer him a change of clothes, something more comfortable than the black slacks and button down shirt; a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt. He slips into them with little fuss (although with a lot of help from you).

You go into the bathroom, slipping into something more comfortable yourself, just you regular sleep clothes, a tank top and some pajama pants. You brush your teeth and wash your face, unsure whether you want to shower or not. Feeling too tired for that you wander back to your bedroom, finding Jake passed out on your bed, in a position that can’t possibly be comfortable. You adjust him, the guy is a pretty hard sleeper, and climb into bed with him. It’s weird in a good way, intimate and warm. You lay on your back, drifting in and out of a sleepy haze, idle thoughts of the night floating through your mind.

At some point you feel the blankets rustle and the warmth move away. A slurred voice pierces your haze “I could kick your ass.” An unfocused stare and a frown greets you. His words are probably true, a little shock courses through you, wondering for half a second if he plans to act on those words. Instead he just looks at you expectantly, you try not to laugh.

“I know.”

He seems satisfied and settles back into his place between your arm and your torso. You drift with him into the night.

Next morning you have a headache that threatens to destroy you and a cold bed. You lie there trying to figure out everything that happened last night, playing the memory (or what’s left of it) in your head.

“Good MORNING, Dirk! Thank you very much for taking care of me last night! I made you breakfast!” How does he not have a hangover? You glare at him from under your blankets and he quiets down, and pets your head, soothing you. He says in a much softer tone, handing you a glass of water, “I made eggs, I’ll bring them in.” You settle into a seated position rooting for some Tylenol in your bedside drawer, eagerly awaiting the promised food.


	25. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Person A of your OTP is quite short and looks younger than their age. On a date with Person B, Person A is offered the kid’s menu. They take it and then order a beer.

The two are out on their first date in weeks, tiring schedules and responsibilities put aside for the night as Dave and Karkat went out for dinner to the nearest steakhouse. Dave insisted, stating he had been in Oregon too long and needed a good old fashioned steak or he’ll die, the law of all Texans. Karkat was a little exasperated, but agreed, happy to just have the time to spend with his boyfriend. The waitress seated them, handing Karkat an adult menu and Dave a children’s menu. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

Dave looked at Karkat and smirked, “Yeah, two beers.”

The waitress eyed him suspiciously and he flashed his license at her, she blushed and ran to get the drinks.

“I’m telling you Dave, you HAVE to destroy that painting in the attic, look at all the trouble it’s causing.”

“That would just kill me Karkat.”

Karkat eyed Dave, scrutinizing the children’s menu, “Want to look at my menu?”

“And pass up a cheaper meal? No thanks.”

“And save a whopping three bucks for half the food, Dave. Stop doing that, you wanted a steak. You really think you’re going to get a good steak from the children’s menu?”

“Good point.”

Dave reached over, yanking the menu out of Karkat’s grasp, while the troll watched him. “You know, maybe we should get you a sign that says ‘Adult Walking’ or some shit. Last thing I want is for people to think I’m a cradle robber.”

“That would look dorky, how about I just get that tattooed on my forehead.” A dry tone as he perused the menu.

“Maybe you could do something with your hair?”

“No one’s messing with my fucking hair.”

“Fine.”

“….Does it really bother you?”

“Huh, I mean…Mostly just the fact that we’re dating and you look a good ten years younger than me. I mean, I know your real age, but…just sometimes creates awkward situations.”

“…How about a big flashing sign that says ‘Mind your own fucking business.’”

Karkat laughed, “I think that would have the opposite effect, Dave.”


	26. Nepeta Dave Dirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trolls have no problem getting changed in front of each other, regardless of gender. Nepeta once got changed in front of Dave and Dirk, and she still has no idea why they reacted so badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I never really thought anyone could be scared of boobs, but then I was watching a reality show where this guy’s boyfriend convinced their mutual female friend to taunt him with her boobs. He was so uncomfortable and started screaming a little to back away. She did, but everyone was laughing so hard.

Dirk, Dave, and Nepeta were sitting in the living room, in a house of the new world, watching anime. Ouran High School Host Club, to be exact. Dave had had just about enough of it, while Nepeta squealed at the romantic conflicts and Dirk hid his own interest behind a wall of stoicism.

Dave took his apple juice, walking across the room, maybe Karkat was doing something more interesting, when he tripped on the leg of the coffee table, landing partially on Nepeta, partially on the floor, and his drink was all over her clothes.

“Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” The troll stood up, removing her top,

“Woah, wait!” Dave sputtered.

“What are you doing?!” Dirk added.

“Just changing, we never put the laundry away, I know there’s a change of clothes for me in the pile.”

“Shouldn’t you go into another room?” Dave said hesitantly.

“Why?” Nepeta’s chest now exposed, making Dirk exceedingly uncomfortable.

Covering his eyes, “Because you’re undressing in front of two dudes? I mean, I’m gay as fuck, but Dave here is pansexual.”

“I don’t see how my nudity has anything to do with your sexuality.” Ever confused and innocent comments.

Dirk removed his hand, “It just-  oh, god.” Dirk covered his eyes, turning away.

“Bro, you afraid of tits or something?”

“I’m not afraid! They’re just…. weird. “

Nepeta sighed, “Fine I’ll go change in another room. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. It’s just a body, guys.”

After she left the two blondes couldn’t look at each other, blushing madly for different reasons.

“Hey, Dirky!” Roxy stepped into the room, along with Jane and a mildly uncomfortable John.

“Hey Rox.”

“We ran into Nepeta down the hall, you’re afraid of boobs?”

“I’m not afr- ROXY!” Roxy came towards him, pulling down her shirt a little while Dirk scrambled out of his seat, taking off down the hall.


	27. DirkJake Davekat Kantula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was procrastinating so much on this prompt, and I’m actually glad I did. I like this set up.

Dirk was sitting on the bench at the park, watching his son play, the giant peanut butter cup cookies Jake had made peeking out of his pocket. His husband was off changing Jade’s diaper. The sky was a comfortable grey, warm, but not hot, bright but not blinding.

Dirk had taken notice of a certain child whose parents seemed scatterbrained at best. One was clearly trying hard to be the “cool” mom, while the other was reading books on everything that could be potentially toxic in their child’s food. She left, probably to get something from the car, he was caught up in his book to notice his child fall from the monkey bars, landing hard on the wood chips.

Dirk immediately rose, ready to help the poor kid, when he saw Dave run over, a small hand patting the grey shoulder. The boy in question, with his wild, dark, curly hair, seemed on the brink of tears, barely able to contain them. A fleeting thought of intervention crossed Dirk’s mind, his own shameful curiosity of how Dave would handle himself made the father hang back, ready for the instant Dave seemed in over his head.

What he saw warmed his heart. Dave had taken the cookies from his bag, offering the boy half, they sat and ate together right there, despite a couple of children huffing that they were in the way. When they finished, Dave hugged the small boy and lead him over to the swings, holding it so the other child could hop on more easily.

“Why are you crying? Where’s Dave!” Dirk hadn’t noticed the tears of pride falling down his face, he waved Jake’s concern away and pointed at the two on the swings.

“Our boy has just shown a complete act of altruism and kindness.”

Jake looked on and smiled, taking Dirk’s hand, “We must be doing something right.”

“Yeah.” Dirk wiped his tears away, taking the tissue Jake offered him.

Sometime later, when most of the families were starting to pack, Dirk realized he hadn’t talked to the boy’s parents yet. “Hey,” turning to Jake, “my face isn’t blotchy, is it?”

“Take off your shades. …Nope, blotch free.”

Dirk nodded, and scanned the sea of people, spotting Dave and his little friend in the sandbox, the boy’s parents not far off, putting their stuff away. Now or never. Standing straight and squaring his shoulders he marched up to them, the women seemed oblivious, but the male in the red sweater caught on as soon as he moved, watching him approach with great suspicion and apprehension. “Hi, my name is Dirk, that’s my husband, Jake.” His hand extended while the male just looked at it.

“I’m fresh out of sanitizer, I hope you don’t mind my not shaking your hand.”

Dirk moved to retract his offer when the woman grabbed hold, a very firm grip. “Don’t be like that Kan, sorry about my husband. My name’s Latula.”

“Nice to meet you. I noticed that our boys seemed to get along really well.” Pointing in the direction of the children, the parents watched for a long blissful moment, “I was wondering if you would be open to a play date for them?”


	28. DirkHal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you hugging me?” (DirkHal) 
> 
> You probably wanted something fluffy and happy, I’m so sorry.

“Why are you hugging me?” Dirk was splayed out on the bed, Hal, in his fresh new body, locked his arms around him.

“You know you like it.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“…. Dirk, I’ve been alive for three years and never known touch. My brain may be superior to your primitive brain, but that primitive brain was still my base. Much like you, I’ve craved contact for years.” Metallic arms gently stroked the soft flesh of Dirk’s limbs. “You do like this, right?”

Much as the blonde hated to admit it, he did enjoy it. “Yeah, I do.” Strong fingers wandered up, threading through the soft natural hair, something Dirk had always wanted, had fantasized about for a long time. He left out a contented sigh, letting Hal do as he wished.

The comforting touches soothed them both, Hal was grateful for the sensory receptors all over his body, like real skin. Cupping Dirk’s face, orange biological matter met the steel unyielding red of circuits. A press of soft lips against the synthetic imitation, Dirk wondered if this is truly what it felt like kissing another person, it was nice.

The platonic brushes and affection were addictive, neither able to stop, wedging each other closer until it was impossible to tell were organic ended and metal began. Hal was warm against him, warmer than any of the other robots he had ever made, his eyes drifted close, breathing in this intimacy that was more than he could ever ask for. He couldn’t help but cling to it, greedy and desperate, and fearful that it would be taken away.

The night filtered out and the rays of sun brought Dirk out of his dream, Hal was nowhere to be found. He searched around the apartment, he was gone, Dirk was alone again. Tears flowed from his eyes, only the red blinking text from his computer brought him out of his lonely isolation.

TT: What’s wrong bro?

“Why aren’t you in your body?”

TT: What body?

And then it clicked, it was a dream, a beautiful dream. Tears flowed freely as Dirk collapsed in on himself. Text continued across the screen, he couldn’t look, he couldn’t handle something so wonderful being a lie. His moment of connection was nothing. His comfort wasn’t even real.


	29. JohnDave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “John can rap surprisingly well. The first time Dave heard him, he froze.”

Dave was lounging in the Egbert family living room, John was off getting some snacks. The dork was taking quite a while. The room was beginning to have that odd horror movie feel, where it’s complete dead silence, except for the droning of the news. Yep, he’s had enough of this.

Jumping of the couch he decided to track down the dork, hearing some odd rhythm in distance, vaguely like John’s voice. As he got closer, he realized John was rapping.

 _Waiting for the bus_  
Took a picture of another bus  
Waiting for the bus in the rain  
I’ve been waiting for the bus  
Since the sun came up  
But the sun ain’t out no more  
Cause it’s grey  
  
Waiting for the bus  
There’s a grey one  
Blue one  
A red one  
All of ‘em turned away  
  
I’ve been waiting for the bus  
Gotta catch a bus  
Gotta watch news  
Got a regimented plan for the day  
Bus

Dave was shocked, this was the biggest dork rap of all time. John was rapping about waiting for a fucking bus, but at the same time he kept REALLY good rhythm, asshole was holding out on him. Dave approached, John’s back turned. “Since when do you rap?”

John jumped, staring at Dave, “For a little while.” John shoved chips and apple juice into Dave’s hands, blushing like mad. Well, if John could rap, Dave could prank. When John turned around once more, a bowl full of popcorn in his hands, Dave gave him a small peck. John froze, the intensity of his gaze catching Dave off guard. A crash and popcorn all over the floor, John’s face on his, kissing him hard and desperate. Dave found that he actually liked John’s lips on his, maybe he should try pranking more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rap was “The Bus is Late by Satellite High


	30. GamTav

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahead

The weathered and battered vessel rested before him, the chain broken. He considered for a moment that his friend wouldn’t be in there and a chill ran down his spine when he realized the opposite was just as likely. Tentative fingers from gentle hands lifted the lid, revealing a twisted body, uncomfortable looking, but not lethal. The purple clad figure groaned, eyes flickering, unfocused. “What are you looking at motherfucker?”

Tavros froze, tears pricking his eyes and a dormant anger rising within him. “Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t we all just get along?”

“That’s not our motherfuckin way.” Gamzee stood up and looked around. “What is this motherfuckin place?”

“Our reward.”

Energy radiated from the bard, “What?”

“We got what we wanted. The chess people, the humans, and most of us trolls are living in peace.”

A look of madness, the page knew better than to give in. “Who’s the head?”

“What?”

“Who reigns over this motherfucken new motherland?”

“Karkat.”

Gamzee seethed, “I’m going to kill, all you motherfuckers.”

“NO!” Tavros stood there, arms outstretched, in his Pupa Pan costume, scared, but determined.

“What makes you motherfucken think you can stop me?”

“I let you out to give you another chance! You can live here with us! We can all be happy!”

“That ain’t goin to motherfuckin happen.”

Tavros cried as he drew his weapon, Gamzee laughed in his face.

 

 

The page returned to the shared home sometime later. Jake offered him a round of fisticuffs, since he looked despondent. “Hey, is that grape jelly?”

Tavros shook, “No.” Eyes trained on the ground, the vibrancy fading from the world.

“Why so glum, chum?”

“I had to say goodbye to friend. I won’t ever see him again.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, yes I do.


	31. Davekat

Blackness surrounded his home as he stared into the blue light of the TV. His eyes stung and watered, a yawn crept from the back of his throat. He didn’t want to sleep, but the inevitability of his need crawled on his skin; hairs raised. Pulling out his phone, he called the only person he could.

“Yeah.”

“It’s Dave.”

“I know that, why the fuck do you think I answered the phone? You interrupted my dream, what do you want?”

Dave dry swallowed, spots dancing on the edges of his vision. Concentrate. “Can you come over?”

“…Dave, what the fuck?”

“I just-“

“Is this a prank? Did Egderp put you up to this? I was having a great fucking dream, Dave.”

“That’s not it.” His voice rough and cracked. “I would just feel safer if you were here.”

Several long moments of silence, Dave wondered for moment if Karkat hung up. “I’ll be right over. But your ass better be ready to sleep. I’m not doing anymore chatting or watching fucking movies. It’s three fucking AM. You sleep, I sleep in the same room, the same fucking respite block if you want, but we fucking sleep.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Karkat liked the warm feeling that seeped from the center of his chest and spread through his limbs. He wasn’t sure why Dave had called him of all people, but it was a nice feeling. Being needed.  …He was going to kill the blonde if he had to wait another fucking second in this snow though. A freezing fist raised to knock on the door, only for the door to open before he actually could. Dave stood there in oversized red pajamas, he looked kind of cute.

“Come in.”

Karkat stepped in, removing his jacket, glancing at Dave, “Sleep.” Dave took his hand and led the troll to his bedroom. Sleep overtook them both in a matter of seconds.

 

The two awoke, entangled in each other’s limbs the next afternoon. “Why did you call me exactly?”

“…This going to be one of our feeling jams?”

“Yes, now spill it, Dave.”

“…. My house before the game was a ninja fucking warzone. Always silent, always dangerous, and the person that was supposed to protect me, kicked my ass instead. When we were on the meteor though, you were the exact opposite. I can tell where you are from a mile away, you’re so loud. And you don’t really do stealth. ….” Dave retreated into himself for a time, gazing at the ceiling.

“And?” Karkat wasn’t the most patient person in the world.

“And last night was too quiet. I need you here man, you're loud and in your face. I need that.”

It was Karkat’s turn to fade from the world, into the realm of his own mind. What an odd feeling, warm, peaceful. “We should probably get up and be productive members of society.”

“Fuck that, we created this universe, we’ve done enough.”

“But it’s $3 double scoop day at Baskin Robbins.”

“Alright, ice cream, then back to bed. And you have to stay here tonight too.”

Karkat smiled to himself. “Alright you insufferable douche, deal.” He belonged here, right here.


	32. General

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay dads au. Little Jade get the scare of her poor little life.

Jade was stumbling through the grass, her scalp ached and tears blurred her vision. Daddies, where are her daddies? “Jade.” A familiar voice, a kind voice. The little girl looked up and around, “Jade! Over here, sweetie.”

The small child turned around, seeing a woman with a large protruding belly, long black hair, and a unique pair of sunglasses. “Lala!” Jade ran to her, crying harder, the woman knelt down.

“What happened?” Jade began sputter a series of incomprehensible sounds. The best that Latula could make out, someone tried to take her. Too pregnant to lift up the five-year-old, she took Jade’s hand, leading her to her parents. The males jumped up as soon as they saw their little girl. “Careful, she’s overwhelmed.” Latula warned.

On cue, Jade immediately fell into a hysterical sob, running into Jake’s arms, clutching him as tight as she could with her small arms. Jake held her, rubbing her back, shushing her, trying to coax her head up so he could check the bleeding. Dirk and Latula had gone in search for their boys and to warn the other parents. Once the boys were spotted, they brought them over with Jade and Jake, Latula explained why the two couldn’t play anymore today, while Dirk called the police.

In the midst of chaos, a teenage girl jogged up to them, bloody nose and lip. “Are you the girl’s parents?”

“Yeah.”

“There was a real creep around here earlier, I saw him trying to take your kid. I got his picture,” the young lady took out her phone, showing the parents.

Dirk was both enraged and supremely thankful. “Thank you, thank you so much for helping my daughter. Could you stay until the police get here?”

“Sure thing.”

While they waited, the woman and Latula returned to the other parents in the area, asking them to keep their eyes out for the assailant.

Once Dirk was off the phone, he asked the teenager exactly what she saw.

“I was just taking my morning jog, and as I approached I saw this guy yelling at your daughter. I hid and watched, she seemed really hesitant, but he was demanding. He was wearing what looked like a uniform, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t a cop or anything. Your kid might have thought he was though. Anyway, when she got close enough he grabbed her hair and tried to pull her over the fence. She was screaming and trying to pull away, he hit her. I ran up and hit him. He let her go, but then grabbed my hair, I tried to scratch him, but he punched me a couple of times. I punched him in the balls and ran. I don’t know where he is now.

Jake looked at her, “Thank you so much, that was a brave thing you did.”

“Well, I couldn’t just let him take the kid.”

“You put yourself in danger for my girl, not everyone would. Please, is there anything we can do for you?” asked Jake as he handed her an ice pack.

“Um, would one of you be willing to walk me home? I don’t live far and I’m kind of scared to walk back by myself.”

“Of course, of course. Let us treat you to lunch as well.”

“No, I couldn’t.”

“We insist. What’s your name?”

“Kanaya.”

“Well Kanaya, you’ve done more for us than I think you even understand. The least we could do is buy you lunch. You like pizza?”

The young girl smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Yes, thank you.”


	33. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the DirkJake “Stuck in line au” anon. It is gaydads as well. And not a very happy drabble, but if anyone wants to see Dave throw a temper tantrum here you go.

This line couldn’t be any longer. How do grocery store lines even get this long? Dirk was waiting at the end of a queue that extended more than half way into the cookie aisle, not a great place to be with a six-year-old. “Look dad! Transformers gummies!”

“Yes, very nice. You’re not getting them.”

“No, look, they’re on sale!”

“You’re still not getting them, Dave.” The young blonde crossed his arms, sinking into a moody pout, glaring at his father. The adult pointedly ignored him.

Around two minutes later, Dave developed a high pitched whine, trying his best to cry, but not quite managing it. He made the cry face anyway, asking in a watery tone why can’t he? Why was daddy being mean? When he’s a grown up, he’s going to eat candy all of the time and daddy can’t do anything about it. Dirk ran through his mind what to do. He wasn’t one for corporal punishment, or even yelling. There was no place that would adequately serve as a time-out spot. He refused to give in to the child’s demands, he wouldn’t eat the gummies, he never ate the gummies. This left him with two options, a warning, and discussion. He started with the latter, it’s not like the line was moving. Kneeling down to Dave’s height he looked his son in the eye. “I know you want those gummies.” Dave nodded, returning to his quiet, angry pout. “I told you though, you can only can only choose one snack. You chose the Iron Man Oreos. Do you want to give up the Iron Man Oreos?” Dave wouldn’t look at him, but shook his head. “Okay, then no gummies.”

Strategy failed. Dave erupted in an incomprehensible fit of cry-yelling. Time for the warning. “Dave, either you stop right now, or when daddy gets back you are going to wait with him in the car.” As his answer Dave threw himself on the ground, kicking his feet. Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off an on-coming tension headache. People were staring, a mother met his gaze.

“Long day?”

“Yes.”

She gave him a sympathetic look. “Just breathe.”

He smiled, “Thanks. I think he’s just tired.” Jake arrived at their cart, a freshly changed Jade in his arms. “I need you to take Dave to the car.”

Jake looked down at his son, sighing. He grabbed one of Dave’s wrists, commanding him, “Stand up now, I’ve got your sister in my arms.” Dave, sulking, obeyed and Jake escorted him to the car.

Before long Dirk was at the front of the line, paying for his groceries, the woman in front of him had paid ten dollars of his bill and left a note, describing all the way teenagers will trying to undermine his authority. He tucked it away for the future. He had a feeling he would need it.


	34. DavespriteHal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : Davesprite and Android!Hal “I’ll protect you with my life”

The two floated in nothingness. The purgatory of the game, the useless data quarantined away for fear of an adverse interaction with the “proper” coding, the rightful existence. They were superfluous copies, expendable and inconsequential. Hal was used to it, even with his shiny new body, a black finish with glowing red wires, completely meaningless.

Davesprite said nothing, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, he always knew his fate, it didn’t make it any easier to accept. The barren wasteland of spare parts, giant chunks of land that served no purpose, undefeated enemies that had no place in the reward of the players. They weren’t players, merely NPCs who served their purpose and cast aside. The long stretches of solitude were pierced every so often by a horde of spare skeletons, hours before another reprieve was allowed to them. Davesprite’s wings fluttered, a bird that could not fly, not truly. This space was his cage, his prison, his penance for the primary Dave’s strategy. Hal seemed to feel this way too, but was already comfortable in the level of self-loathing that accompanied the realization. The orange-winged boy had no such luxury.

A metal digit wiped his tears away, a rare tender gesture in oblivion’s embrace. Shades met with red glowing irises, and he gave way, crippled and sobbing. The bird boy despised his fate, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. Tentative hands held him, rubbing his back, soft coos of empty promises. “It’s going to be alright, I’ll fix this. I’ll protect you with my life.”

Life did not exist in the void, and did an android really have a life to give? The robot was too smart for its own good, cheeky asshole. Some sheet he had retrieved from god knows where was draped over Davesprites head, his avian instincts calling him to rest and his human mind agreeing. The sweet call of more false promises and amnesia of the world around him.


	35. JohnDavekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” prompt. I hope you don’t mind some Johndavekat. This takes place within the gaydads au.

Food trays with mediocre pizza and cold, stale fries, rested on the cafeteria table. Two boys lip locked, smiling into their kiss, cupping faces and puffs of barely controlled laughter, in the corner, where they wouldn’t be disturbed. A heavy dropping clatter of another tray forced them apart, Karkat staring at them for a long, silent moment before fixating on his food. He ate as if he were a soldier, doing what he was told. It was as though his entire focus was the food in front of him, his mission for this span of time. His movements were robotic, his chewing measured and precise, never once looking them in the eye, looking everywhere, but their eyes.

The other two broke apart, eating their food in a rush, now only half the period left. Cold food was best eaten quickly anyway. John was working on his technique, seeing how fast he could chew and trying to figure out the optimum level of food to have in his mouth at one time. Dave merely picked at his plate, distracted by Karkat pointed non-interaction. “Didn’t see you in homeroom today, thought maybe you were out sick.”

“No, just missed the bus.” Under a tone of vague hostility and acerbic civility.  Dave’s eyes widened, unsure what he had done, John caught it as well.

“How about I drop the trays off and wait for you in English?” Dave nodded, “And Karkat, I’ll see you in calc.” A grunt was all he got in reply. John met Dave’s gaze, slight worry and nervousness between them.

With the slightly pudgy male out of hearing distance, Dave decided directness was best, only ten minutes to talk after all. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that, you’ve been grumpy this entire period.”

“No I haven’t. You too seemed pretty _busy,_ there were no other tables. I was being fucking polite.”

“You were being that passive aggressive polite, that polite that says ‘Look at me, I’m following fucking etiquette that I would follow if we were fucking strangers, even though we’re not, to make a point.’”

“Dude, I’ve had a long morning and was just a little surprised that the first time I see you, you and John or practically dry humping at our lunch table.”

“We WERE NOT….wait, are you jealous?”

Karkat glared at him, but the rosy hue that appeared on his cheeks suggested that Dave hit his mark. “No.”

“Yes, you are, you’re jealous. Karkat, you know it doesn’t mean I love you less, right? Like, John is part of our romantic thing here. I’m going to want to kiss him, just like I want to kiss you. I thought you were down with this.”

Karkat covered his face with the long sleeves of his sweater, “I know, I am.” Slightly watery voice, Dave reached to pull the other’s hands away, but Karkat wouldn’t budge.

“Hey,” Dave wrapped his arms around the brunette, feeling the other boy’s head rest in his chest. “it’s okay, what can I do?”

“Nothing, it’s just been a long day. A long shitty day, I don’t want to get into it.”

“…Okay, but you have to take this.” Karkat looked at what Dave had produced between his fingertips, one of the milk chocolate Lindor truffles, Karkat’s favorite. A small smile graced the smaller male’s lips as he took the treat.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” One last kiss on Karkat’s forehead before they parted. Dave informed John of the situation and the two boys treated Karkat to some much needed affection after school.


	36. JaneRoxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JaneRoxy and the ‘im pretending to be your bff because you look uncomfortable with that person talking to you at the bar’ Au.

Once again, my tinder date looks nothing like his picture. He’s at least ten years older, fifty pounds heavier, and despite posing with “Fur is Murder” protesters, he’s wearing a leather jacket. He keeps touching me too. I’ve pulled away, but he doesn’t get the hint, not the kind of guy I want to leave my drink around. He keeps invading my personal space too, and reeks of cigarettes.

“So, what’s your favorite position?” Ugh, he’s a slime ball.

I cross my arms and turn away, I have another half hour of this before that app sends my phone a call. Ew, he’s put his arm around me. I gently take his hand off my waist, and smile as kindly as I can. “Please don’t touch me.”

“Don’t be like that.” He returns his hand to where it was and now I’m kind of scared. I try to think of my escape routes, I wouldn’t be able to make it to my car, not if he’s the violent sort. Maybe ask one of the bartenders to walk me to my car? What if they say no, it’s not their job? I could hide in the bathroom, but this guy could easily wait me out. I could move to a table, but he’d follow me. There isn’t enough of a crowd to lose him either.

“Hey, long time no see!” A blonde woman approaches me, dressed in pink with cat earrings. She promptly pushes the guy aside and sits next to me. He looks like he’s about to start something when she turns to him and flashes the contents of her purse. He backs off and leaves. She turns to me, all smiles. “You gotta learn to teach those boys whose boss, girl!” She seems a bit drunk.

“What did you show him?” She leans in close, the smell of margarita on her breath.

“My gun.” She falls into a fit of giggles before elaborating. “Or at least what looks like a gun. All the employees here, they’re good guys, I’ve checked, know. They’re fine with it.”

“Thanks for helping me.”

“No probs, he was a creeper anyway. Was’ your name?”

“Jane.”

“Gonna be honest, I probably won’t remember that tomorrow. I’m kind of drunk.” She gets distracted by her fingers, apparently want to make sure I know the exact amount of how drunk she is. When she finally gets her fingers the perfect distance apart, she triumphantly shows them to me. I can’t help, but laugh.

We end up talking for the rest of the night. I take her home, nothing happens, but I get to wake up next to her the following morning.


	37. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one asshole customer who comes in 5 minutes before closing au with Dave and Karkat. For anon. I’m very happy with the way this came out, I hope you enjoy it as well.

I hate closing. You have to deal with the creeps and high maintenance women out for a night of clubbing. Those women that expect you to have their exact brand and shade of lip gloss and if you don’t they act like it’s a federal crime. And those creeps that will grab porn and take it into the bathroom (it's obvious what you’re doing asshole), then come out and put the magazine back. I hate this place. My shift is almost over though, then it’s Chinese food and _27 Dresses_ for the night.

No one is in, thank god. I might actually be able to make it to the restaurant in time to get egg rolls. The place is usually out by the time I get there. The owner’s pretty nice once you get to know him though. Doesn’t take kindly to disrespect. He knows I tip well too, saved me a couple last time. Hopefully I’ve managed to stay in his good graces, might get that benefit tonight.

Five minutes, five minutes and I can lock up and go the fuck home. The bell rings at the door, I turn my head….this fucker again. The blonde douche who wears sunglasses, no matter how dark it is outside. Eye condition he says, bullshit is what I say. “We’re closing in five minutes.”

“S’okay, I won’t be long.”

Fucking lying asshole. Five minutes AFTER closing now and he’s still staring at the fucking apple juice. It’s not going to change dickwad, buy something or get the fuck out. He’s smirking, he’s fucking smirking. The arrogant prick. I have to clench my fists to keep myself from going over there and taking a swing at him.

He finally comes up to the register, the door’s already partially locked, no one new can come in at least. I ring up his stupid shit, slightly vindicated that he took the gross ass porn mag that the homeless guy used earlier. Thankfully I have an industrial bottle of hand sanitizer next to me.  After I give him his change he just stands there. Just. Fucking. Stands. There. I do my best to keep my voice steady. “Look, I’ve had a long night, would you please go.”

“Noticed you checking me out over there.”

I just can’t give two shits anymore. I almost touch my face, but remember in time to use the sanitizer, with my hands properly cleansed from the something I’d rather not think about, I lose my shit. “LISTEN ASSWIPE! I’VE BEEN WORKING TWELVE FUCKING HOURS. I HAVE A 45 MINUTE COMMUTE HOME BEFORE A GLORIOUS DAY OFF. YOU HAVE JUST FUCKING ROBBED ME OF 10 MINUTES AND POSSIBLY MY DINNER BECAUSE I WON’T BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF HERE IN TIME TO CATCH THE BUS THAT WOULD GET ME HOME BEFORE MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT CLOSES! I WANT TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE, AND YOU ARE FORBIDDING MY FROM DOING THAT, BY VIRTUE OF BEING THE LAST FUCKING PERSON TO COME IN AND TAKING YOU SWEET FUCKING TIME. SO YES, I WAS LOOKING AT YOU, BUT DON’T FUCKING FLATTER YOURSELF. I FUCKING HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS. The guy just stares at me for a beat longer before finally leaving. About fucking time. I rush through the closing procedures. I get to the Chinese place right as the owner is locking up. Thankfully, he must have a soft spot for me. He made me my usual, complete with some bonus egg rolls before he closed. I paid him double what it cost, he saved my night.

I allow myself to fall into my two favorite sins, gluttony and sloth. Didn’t move for the next thirty-six hours unless it was to get more food. Probably gained ten pounds that day, fucking worth it.

The asshole showed up during my next closing shift, five minutes before close, as usual. At least this time he hurried the fuck up. Left a bag on my counter and rushed out before I could tell him to take the fucking thing. I picked it up, only to notice my name on the side. Inside was a mixtape, my favorite candy (how’d he know? we don’t fucking sell it at this store) and a letter apologizing for his actions and wishing me a good night.

It isn’t until a week later that I realize, the guy is a chocolatier at me favorite shop. I’m in there once a week without fail. This time I strike up a conversation with him, the guy is alright.


	38. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH AU DIRKJAKE

Jake had just finished his chores for the night, Dirk had already taken his shower, it was time to enjoy the warm embrace of a night time ablution. He hummed to himself as he stripped off his robe and placed his towels on the counter. He stepped in and turned on the water, hit with a freezing chill that left him shivering. Okay, no problem, just turn down the cold water and turn up the hot. Still it was freezing. Again, he turned up the hot water, and it was STILL freezing. A darkness came over his features as he shut off the water entirely and stomped out the bathroom, too upset to think of his robe. He stood naked in their living room, hands on his hips. Dirk’s eyes became wide, a small smile on his face followed, that is, until Jake opened his mouth. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH!”  The response wasn’t quite what Jake had hoped for. Dirk covered his mouth and began chuckling to himself. “I’m serious Strider! I’m tired of never having any hot water.” The confidence in his voice starting to fall, until it settled into a whiny tone. “I had a long day. I just wanted a warm shower.”

Dirk got up, walking over to Jake and draping his arms around him. “I’m sorry, I’ll work on not taking up so much hot water. Or change the time of day I take or something, kay?”

Jake nodded, appeased. Looking down, he said “I’m naked.”

Dirk snorted, “Yep.”

Jake looked at him red faced, hands now covering himself as much as possible. “…I’m going to go get my robe.”

“You do that babe.” Dirk kissed his forehead, and Jake wandered awkwardly back to the bathroom, while Dirk puzzled over why Jake was so embarrassed, it not like they haven’t been naked around the house before.


	39. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One caring for the other while they are injured/sick DirkJake for anon. Starts out kind of sad and sentimental, then Dirk gets high off his pain meds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this months ago, reading it over, I switch from first person to third person for no reason, but I'm too lazy to fix it.

The house seems so empty, no pattering of feet, no cries, or loud, tiny voices fighting over the remote. I’m only mildly aware of any of this, my head feels like a truck hit it, probably because it did, but that was a week ago. The doctor finally allowed me to come home, Jake’s been fussing over me….wait, where is he?

….Uh….retrace, let’s see, he helped me get into bed, gave me some pain killers. Jade was crying and I told her not to worry, Dave was standing in the doorway, looking scared. I tried to reassure him, but he ran…I wonder what I must look like. Jade nearly jumped on me in her anguish, Jake caught her, scolded her, she cried harder and he apologized. The kids were ushered out of the room….and….darkness. Must have fallen asleep.

I try to prop myself up, but the sharp stabbing pain knocks the wind out of me and I lay there, coughing, nearly choking on my own dry throat, I’m thirsty.

It feels like an eternity, but it’s only been five minutes. I can hear crunching in the drive way, seconds later the door opens and Jake slips through. “Oh, you’re awake. How long?”

“Few minutes.” My voice is nothing more than a croak and I can see the pain etched in Jake’s face. He brings the glass from the dresser, the straw to my lips, supporting my head as I drink. I can feel he fingertips brushing against the nape of my neck, flicking back and forth. He’s worried.

I finish my drink and he climbs in bed with me. He drapes his arm around me, carefully avoiding the tender areas. “You hungry?” He’s trying so hard, but it’s like I can hear him breaking.

“No, I’m fine.” He kisses my cheek.

“Where are the kids? It’s quiet.”

“At Roxy’s, just for a couple of nights, until things are settled.”

“Jake…I’m sorry.”

“Shush. You did nothing wrong. How could you know the driver would lose control of his car?”

“You told me not to go out, that it could wait until morning.”

“Dirk, I had no better idea than you did what would happen that night.” A silence rested upon them, Jake relaxed, kissing wherever bandages didn’t cover skin. “Think you could try to eat some soup? I got your favorite from the store.”

Dirk was more preoccupied by the feeling of his muscles seizing up, squeezing painfully around his injuries. “Meds first,” he gripped Jake’s hand for dear life, looking at his husband, “please.”

Jake rushed to get the meds, placing them quickly in Dirk’s mouth and allowing the blonde to drink some water again. “It’ll work soon,” a hand rubbed anxious circles on Dirk’s good shoulder.

Dirk smiled, turning his head to kiss Jake’s hand, “I know.”

As the pain started to subside, Jake went to heat the soup, leaving Dirk to stew in the haze of the medication. The blonde was caught in the nice doping of the drug. The pain ebbed away and a nice warmth danced on his skin, his mind was floating and everything just seemed fucking hilarious. What if a lamp was a person and the shade was his hat? He’d look like a fucking dork. And the TV clearly has a superiority complex over the alarm clock, cocky bastard. He could practically hear the hangers arguing in the closet over who had it worse, the hanger holding the maid outfit for their roleplay nights, or the hanger holding the awful Hawaiian shirt John gave him unironically and he hasn’t had a chance to get rid of it yet. Now the dresser is saying something in Russian, fuck you dresser, just…fuck you. No you’re high as a fucking kite. No, you are. Yeah, not so smug now, fucker.

Jake returned shortly after Dirk’s argument with the dresser, to find the blonde laughing his ass off, clutching his wound every now and then from the pain cause by the laughter. “What’s so funny?” The tv wasn’t on.

“The dresser’s an asshole.”

“….That medicine’s really made you loopy, hasn’t it?”

“It’s good shit. I feel fucking great. GOOD SHIT! GOOoooooooooddddddd Shhhiiiiiiiiiiitttttt.” Dirk fell into another fit of giggles, while Jake tried his best not to encourage him. Although he made a mental note to track down the camera tomorrow. Tonight though, he was happy Dirk felt good, after what he had been through.

Propping his husband up on some pillows, Jake fed him, tucked him in, and took a quick shower before bed.


	40. JohnDave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johndave “ngl I thought you were the weak one in this friend group but your life went to complete shit around you and somehow youre still acting the same. So if you want to be weak you can be around me”

Rose has violin practice, Jade has a family thing, so you end up following John around for the day. Nothing else to do, and you’re not ready to go home. He tells you he’s busy, but he’s a terrible liar, you’re suspicious and you follow him. He’s not heading home, this road is in the opposite direction of his house, maybe he’s meeting someone. Maybe he has a girlfriend…or maybe a boyfriend. A smirk crosses your face when you think about all that “I’m not a homosexual” rhetoric he was spewing last year, and then suddenly just stopped, pretending it never happened.

As you tail him, you notice his shoulders start to droop. You watch as he shifts the backpack off his shoulders, taking something out as he turns the corner. As much as you want to see what he has in his hands, you maintain your distance. He turns into a parking lot of a building you don’t recognize, you look around for a sign, and what you find reads “South Center Hospital.” Why is John here? The earlier levity and mischievous intents drain out of you as you see him approach the elevator. You hide behind a plant as you listen to some stranger make polite talk with John as they wait for the doors to open. “How’s you dad boy ‘o?”

“He’s the same.” The tone in his voice is unlike anything you’ve heard before. It’s the same light, optimistic John, but there’s an unmistakable undertone of pain that makes your chest constrict and guilt press into your mind.

“Still in critical care?”

“Yeah…”

“I’m sorry lad.” John’s dad is in critical care?

You hear the elevator ding and the doors slide open, after they close again you look at the directory, “Critical Care 5th Floor,” There’s an odd mixture of adrenaline, urgency, anxiety and contrition that floods your veins. You can’t wait for the next elevator, so you sprint up the stairs. You try to look as if you know where you’re going and keep to the side so you’re not in the way. You manage to spot John right as he’s turning into one of the rooms and you’re so thankful that he doesn’t see you. You lean against the wall, and listen.

“Hey dad, how’ve you been? I got an A on my history paper and passed by bio test.” His voice is starting to shake a little and it’s breaking your heart. “I brought your favorite book! I thought we could start it today.” His voice cracks with the last word and he clears his throat. You want to comfort him, but this moment feels so personal, like you shouldn’t be allowed to even hear it, much less intrude upon it. You hear him drag a chair and the plop of his backpack before he starts reading. “Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens….”

You listen to John read to his dad for a little while. When he gets to the end of chapter two you finally decide to reveal yourself. Stepping quietly into the sterile, harshly lit room, the gentle beeps of the machine and the airy sound of the respirator muffling what little sound you make. “John,” Your voice is soft and there’s a prickle at the back of your neck as you feel yourself burst the intimate bubble your friend had created. John jumps and turns around in his chair, wide-eyed at you. Words fly out of your mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I was going to prank you, I thought….. I mean, I had no idea. I’m sorry, I was eavesdropping and, Jesus, John, ….What happened? Never mind, you don’t have to answer that. I just, I’m sorry I didn’t know.

He sits there dumbfounded for a moment, before pointing at the other chair in the room, you take this as your cue to sit. You wait for several minutes hairs standing on end because holy shit, you’ve never seen so many wires and tubes connected to a person. John swallows and looks at you with watery eyes. “Drunk driver.” He chokes out and he’s visibly shaking and trying to smile, and you’re not having it. You jump out of your chair and throw your arms around him and you feel him break. He sobs uncontrollably in your arms for several minutes, clutching you like he’s protecting you. Like if he lets go you’ll join his father. You rub his back, doing your best to soothe him, but you are so far out of your league here that it’s awkward, but you force yourself to keep trying. You kiss his forehead and tell him that you’re here, that you’ll always be here.

He calms down after a while and you sit in silence as he stares, eyes red and puffy, at his dad, more machine than man at this point. And he’s clutching your wrist, you don’t move.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, but his grandmother appears eventually with a nurse. She’s surprised to see you and takes you aside. She hands you money and asks you to take John to the cafeteria and get yourselves something to eat. John is still staring at his father when you coax him out of his chair, his gaze never leaves the body on the bed until you two are out of the room, it seems to snap him out of his trance. He wipes his eyes and smiles at you, the façade back on his face, but the mask is broken, his eyes still red and his face still blotchy. He tries to joke with you in the elevator, but trails off halfway through and you decide to speak up.

“I have to say, I always thought you were, at least emotionally, the weakest one in our group, John. I thought you showed your emotions to freely, expressed them too readily, and were, for lack of a better word, immature. I’m sorry. How long has your dad been like this?”

“A week.”

“And I can guarantee, none of us has suspected a thing. You’re a hell of a lot stronger than I thought John. Difference in how we use our emotions I guess. But, John, you don’t have to put on the mask around me anymore. I won’t say anything to the girls, that’s your choice to make, and if you want to keep the mask on in front of them, I understand. Around me though….it’s okay to let your guard down. You don’t have to be happy for me John, especially not with the shit you’re going through.” He stares at you for a moment and you would seriously consider this the longest elevator ride of your life.

His response was something you weren’t quite expecting. He lays his head on your shoulder and clutches you shirt, his voice high when he says “Thank you.” You hug him and lead his to the cafeteria, sit him down and get his food for him. Your meal is filled with silence, but John isn’t hiding anymore, and you rub his shoulder, reminding him that you’re there, in every way.


	41. DirkJohn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this gif: http://attemptsattalent.tumblr.com/post/151806130234/striders66-brojohnthis-is-my-kind-of-ship

Trudging up the stairs to the apartment, grocery bags in hand, Dirk took out his keys and unlocked the door. A long day of errands complete, bills paid, mail sent, groceries picked up, and gas in the car. His greeting at the door was one of frantic energy and fear.

“SPIDER!” cried John as he clung to Dirk’s broad form.

“Wha-?”

“There’s a spider.”

The blonde sighed, “Show me where.” John pointed in the general direction of the offending arachnid. Grabbing a jar and a piece of paper, Dirk trapped and captured the bug while John hid behind him. As he stood up, the brunette climbed his body, wrapping slim legs around his waist as scrawny arms claimed his chest.

“Big baby.”

“They’re just so gross!”

Dirk smirked at John, “Alright, your koala ride is over,” Dirk positioned his back to the couch, making John release his grip, and sat down next to his boyfriend.

“So, other than the great spider assault, how was your day?” The answer ended up being a long mixture of excited squealing and slight grumbling, words were in their somewhere. The blonde was pretty sure he heard “Ghostbusters” and “Dave won” in John’s rant.

Soon they were cuddled together on the couch, the smaller male calming down, when Dirk had an idea. It wasn’t very nice, but a prankster like John would probably appreciate it.

Dirk pointed and said loudly, and with great urgency, “Look another spider!”

John’s head whipped around, “Where?!”

Dirk reached forward grabbing his boyfriend’s face, “Here” before kissing him passionately. A small noise of surprise was followed by a return of the kiss, Dirk could feel the heat of John’s blush, making him smile. As the pulled apart, both breathing heavy, Dirk said the words that grace John’s ears at least once a day. “You’re so cute, I love you.”

A dorky bucktoothed smile returned the sentiment. “I love you too.”


	42. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ended up adopting like three dogs because that pet shelter employee is really hot AU DIRKJAKE

Okay, I’ve been clean for a year, no WOW, no COD, I’ve kept that plant alive. I can do this. I step into the city pound and quietly ask the girl at the desk where the dogs are. She leads me to the puppies, I tell her I don’t really have time for a puppy, I was looking for an older dog. A really good looking guy comes up to us, “I’ll take over Jane.” She smiles and they linger in their eye contact, when he turns to look at me he seems shocked out of whatever thing he has going on with that girl. He eyes me up and down, I clear my throat.

“I’m looking for dog. I have a full time job, so they’ll be alone by themselves a lot. I was looking for an older dog, one that doesn’t need as much activity.”

He nods and smiles, “I’m glad to see someone take an interest in the older fellas, it’s a shame for them to die in a place like this.” His voice hits a pitch that disorients me, it’s warm and smooth like butter, melting me. I have to focus. He shows me an old Chihuahua, “Perfect,” I say, “I’ll take him.” Mostly I just want to get away before I do something stupid. He pouts at me. I would call it unprofessional if it wasn’t as so cute.  He shows me another dog, and I can’t make out exactly what he’s saying about its background because the light has caught his profile just right. I’m left admiring his chin and, in my distraction, agreeing to another dog. The way he beams at me makes my skin burn and I know I’m a fool, but I want to be near him. He directs me to yet another dog, I take him without the spiel.

I should not have accepted three lives into my hands, especially when a year ago I couldn’t even take care of myself. Part of me feels a pride swell in my chest at the choice I swear to myself that I will do for these dogs, the other part of me is terrified that I’ll screw it up. When the guy with the nice biceps and lovely voice says goodbye to me, all my worries fade. The minute I’m in the car on the way home, with three dogs in my backseat I’m slapping the shit out of myself (metaphorically, I’m not that stupid of a driver) for my complete stupidity.

A few weeks later, I’ve adjusted to the care required for these dogs. It’s my day off and I’ve decided to take them to the dog park, watching them run and bark and chase each other is an odd sort of reward. I sit back, a bag full of toys for when they’re done exploring the new territory. “How are the pups?” Jake approaches me, a leash in his hand and a wide grin on his face.

“They’re great.” And so am I.


	43. Davekat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you haven’t had the best experience with cats in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it? AU DaveKat?!?

“No.”

“Aw, c’mon Karkat, don’t be that way.”

“No cats Dave.”

“It’s not like I can just put it back in the rain, look at it.” Dave raised up the tiny kitten and it sneezed, as if on cue.

“I don’t like cats, Dave.”

“Look at its teeny baby kitty face! You can’t possibly dislike such a face.” This time the kitten mewed and Karkat smiled, despite his best efforts. “I know you haven’t had the best experience with cats-“

“The best? Dave, every experience I’ve had with cats as either resulted in scratches on my face, teeth on my nose, or ringworm. I would settle for a non-painful memory of a cat if I had one.”

“But look at its face! It won’t hurt you! Please, can we keep it?” Karkat had to admit, the kitten was cute, orange fur and big eyes. Dave set it on the floor and it ran in such a way, that it was more like hopping. It explored the room with great interest, until it came upon its on reflection. The furball jumped back in surprise, arching its back to appear big and tough, before trying to attack it. It jumped at the mirror, a predictable result of smashing its face into the glass, and then ran in the opposite direction.

Karkat laughed his ass off for a solid minute. “Okay, but if it attacks me, it’s gone. And you have to take it to the vet tomorrow.”

“Deal.”


	44. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Im the lawyer helping you gain custody over your daughter and youre all kinds of adorable with herand also i think shes getting attached to me is this good or bad” DirkJake

You come in with that ridiculously tight t-shirt and your daughter in your arms and I have to distract myself with papers, or I’m going to lose all professional decorum. I watch as she grabs your nose and you make some honking noise that you know will make her laugh. Setting her down she ambles over to me, almost looking like she’s going to lose her balance and I can see your every muscle tense, because I know the last thing you want in this world is for her to experience any pain. She looks up expectantly and I give her the blocks I bought (especially for her, although I told Dirk it’s because of the cases I handle.) She positions herself on the floor, babbling to herself, I admire the pureness of not only her obliviousness of the situation, but Dirk’s expression as he watches her. He really is a handsome guy.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he gets his game face on. “So, how are we?”

“We are doing quite well. The judge denied your ex wife’s petition for immediate relocation of your daughter, after the drug test came back positive. Her lawyer is demanding supervised visitation on the condition that she enters rehab. I countered with a requirement that she remain in rehab for at least 30 days before she would be allowed visitation. We’ll see how they respond.”

I watch as you rest your head pensively on your fist. “Is there any way to keep Samantha from having any contact with Jade?”

I give you a sincere expression of sympathy, “I’m afraid the odds are not in our favor, especially if Samantha finishes rehab.” Your leg jiggles, heel tapping against the floor, an anxious tell of yours. “I think you should know, you ex’s lawyer has put forth a petition for a guardian ad litem.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a person that is supposed to act in the best interests of the child, you remember court a few weeks ago?”

“When they said I neglected Jade, that she had oozing sores and other bullshit? They don’t sincerely believe that do they!”

“No, Jade would have been taken out of your care immediately. However, I get the feeling they are about to make new accusations, I’m warning you right now, no matter how upset you get, do not lash out. It won’t help you.”

Jade had become bored with her blocks and pulls at my pant leg, she’s so cute. “Jade, honey, don’t-“

“It’s quite alright.” I pick her up and stand her on my lap so we are nearly eye to eye. “I promise I won’t keep you in this dreary place much longer, I’m sure your father is just as eager to see the park as you are. I just need five more minutes, okay?”

She grabs my nose and declares “Jack!”  Something breaks loose in me and I laugh, she laughs back at me. I want to help this man and his daughter, truly. I won’t deny that I have developed feelings for him. For his sake though, and for the future of this girl, I will put my feelings aside and work to the edge of my very capabilities.


	45. DirkJake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Your OTP are happily married with a small child. One day, Person A’s ex comes back into the picture under mysterious circumstances and, intentionally or not, causes physical harm to befall the child. What happens next?” I was thinking maybe some Dirkjake with this but instead of an ex it’s Bro. Thank you for listening!

The county fair was bustling for it’s opening weekend. The couple and their small, blonde, little boy walking between them, smiled as the entered the fair grounds. Dave was bouncing on the balls of his feet, “Petting zoo! Petting zoo!”

Dirk laughed and glanced at his husband, “You really had to tell him that on the ride over? We’ll spend all day there.”

Jake smiled back, “C’mon, look how happy he his. You and I both know you’re going to experience the whole even through that camera lens anyway.” Dirk, in retaliation, uncapped the lens of his recently purchased DSLR camera and snapped a shot of Jake. The brunette rolled his eyes as they made their way to the kids’ area.

The petting zoo was right up front, Dave yelled “Chicken!” letting go of his fathers’ hands and rushing headlong towards the birds.

“Dave! What did we say about staying in sight!” yelled Jake as he ran after their child. Dirk took another photo.

Jake caught up with the four-year-old, scooping him and giving him a kiss before carrying him into the animal tent. “Cow!” shouted Dave, his eyes wide with wonder.

“That’s right Dave, a cow. And what’s that?”

“Pig!”

Jake smiled, completely sucked into Dave’s amazement at the world around him. “That’s right, good job.” The tiny blonde child eagerly ran up, pushing other children aside for his turn petting a chicken. “Dave, no pushing! Remember, you have to wait your turn. The other kids were here first.” Deflating a little at the restriction placed on him, Dave settled into a mild pout.

Dirk, taking pictures all the while, scanned the area, “Hey Dave, the horses don’t have a line, you want to pet a horse?”

“Yeah!”

The two escorted their child over to the horse area, where a muscular blonde male, nearly the spitting image of Dirk, greeted them with a smirk. “Jake? Jake English?”

“Yes,” said Jake, looking up. “Oh my goodness, Broderick! Hi!” Jake grinned wide while Bro’s smirk grew as well. “Long time no see, how have things been?”

“Been well, business is really booming. My sister just needed help after one of her handlers called in sick, so I’m filling in. …Who’s this.”

Jake started, “Oh my, my manners. This…” he said, pulling Dirk, who had been quietly analyzing the situation, over into a side hug, “…is my husband, Dirk,” the two males greeted each other in a terse manner, completely over looked by Jake.  “And this little fella,…“ Jake picked Dave into his arms, beaming, “… is my son, Dave.” He turned to look at the shy boy bury his face in his father’s shoulder. “Say hello.”

“Hi.” Dave said, muffled by his father’s shirt.

“Dave, Dirk, this is Broderick, he’s um…. Well…he was…”

Bro chuckled softly. “C’mon Jake it was a million years ago, you’re married now. Surely, your husband knows you have exes.”

Jake smiled, “Right, Broderick is an ex-boyfriend I had in college and shortly after.”

Dirk, without missing a beat, said, “Wow, you really have a type, don’t you?”

Jake colored, rather than answering the question, he turned attention back to his son, “Dave, you want to pet the horses, right?”

After the horses, Dave insisted on petting every animal the tent had to offer, and then wanted to pet every animal again. His fathers, perhaps a little over indulgent, waited patiently. By the time he was finished the tent was closing down for lunch. Broderick, working a split shift that day, had a few hours to kill and all four took a train ride to eat something that wasn’t deep fried.

Jake and Broderick spoke happily with each other, Dave was preoccupied with the color pages given out by the restaurant. Dirk, on the other hand, was growing very apprehensive. He watched Broderick with a critical eye, his hand often finding its way to Dave’s head whenever the larger male’s gaze landed upon the child. Something wasn’t right with that guy. Dirk could sense it, he was unstable, a possessive unstable. He didn’t like the way Bro looked at Dave, he was always smiling, but his eyes seemed aggressive.

Dirk tried to rationalize it away. He was just being jealous. He was just trying to find any reason to dislike the guy because he was Jake’s ex. Grow up, he and Jake are married, it’s no reason to feel like this. Still, the very look of Broderick made his stomach churn with dread.

While they waited at the train platform, Jake, having given up on trying to include Dirk in the conversation long ago, was still chatting with Bro. Their voices shifted from married banter to a rushed whisper. Dirk looked over to see Jake looking put-off and Dave, in Jake’s arms, looking anxious. A tiny voice shouted, “No!” and two small arms pushed a Bro’s shoulder. Dirk could see it in the large man’s eyes, something snapped. He snatched Dave out of Jake’s arms and held him out over the tracks, a five foot drop from the platform.  The train horn rang distance, it was due in ten minutes.

Jake’s eyes welled with tears as his face contorted in anger, “GIVE HIM BACK!”

Bro smirked, a smirk that before had been endearing and familiar, now, only looked sinister. “Come on, he’s a tough boy, he can handle it.” Dave was crying and screaming, the other passengers looked on, some fear struck others clearly wanting to charge at the villain. Dirk was gauging the odds of success. Bro was far stronger than he was, there’s no way he can take him on. No, if Bro didn’t set Dave down, he had to be prepared, he had to be ready.

“PUT HIM DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!” Jake screamed.

“Remember when I proposed to you? And you said no? Tell me, Jake, what’s the big difference between me and the powder puff over there. The trains whistle again, closer.

“Put my kid fucking down.” Jake’s eyes grew clear with pure rage, unable to contain himself, he charged at Broderick, barely able to budge him. The blonde was happy to play the part though. He acted as though he had been knocked off balance, letting go of Dave and wobbling on the edge before laughing.

“Way to kill your kid.”

What he didn’t see was Dirk launch himself onto the train tracks, strangers were moved by the outrageous action. Some attacked Bro, other helped Dirk and Dave off the tracks mere moments before the train could hit, other still called 911.

Dave was wailing, his leg swollen, likely broken. Broderick had disappeared. An ambulance and police appeared on the scene. Jake gave a description while Dirk rode in the ambulance with Dave.

Later at the hospital, as Dave dozed from his pain medication, the parents looked on, a profound sense of guilt drowning them. This would never happen again, they would make sure of it.


End file.
